i eat a mango at work in the middle of a snowstorm. i don't garden. i shop at kroger. i say no every time my mother asks me to sing. i forget birthdays. i point my finger, spin around, and always face a mirror. i make fists. i barter each day. i have seven names but didn’t choose one. i identify as none. i’m fragile and my porcelain cracks. i throw myself against walls. i(‘m a) contradict(ion). too proud, too sure, too right, too complicit. my refusal is loud and physical, and i still don’t believe it myself. i hide in the cars of high-speed trains and get by but never get off. i learn how things are, how things have been, and play in the rain. i take off my socks and shoes and stick my face in a puddle. i keep it there. i used to laugh at so many things. i say i won’t kill you, i won’t kill me. friend, i won’t kill you, so go to sleep. i buy a new bed. i doesn’t make sense. i snoop through your room and find that double-sided dong. “is it under this rock?” “nope, but better luck.”
About the Creator
kp
I am a non-binary, trans-masc writer. I work to dismantle internalized structures of oppression, such as the gender binary, class, and race. My writing is personal but anecdotally points to a larger political picture of systemic injustice.
Comments (2)
So powerful and all encompassing. “I hide in the cars of high-speed trains and get by but never get off” — too good.
You're so good. I don't even really have words for this, it's excellent and emotional and removed. The voice here is so unique (as are all your pieces)