My heart softened just enough to allow a momentary dash of surrender to embellish me. It came over me like a fleeting amount of delirium where forgiveness seemed plausible, that is, as possible as rewriting history can be. I felt as if all could be erased, null and void.
Yes! Surely the passage of time could render all scars sliced through the very soul of me if my only request was to be heard out by you. Why, after decades reeling between us, listening would be your absolution. Right?
No. Just as saving the Titanic and all the people flailing about drowning, screaming in treacherous tones that were muted by inevitable consequences of their reality, I changed nothing. History is history. It's yours to live with.
Perhaps my fingers moved across the keyboard with a swift gesture of childish love; looking back, fever was forcing it's way through my weakening veins which likely spawned my emotional crest.
Days have passed and I ask only how the tears on the inside escaped? Am I not as strong as the wild gusts that rock my shelter, the pelleting hail against the windows, the powerful, full moon swelling up the seas?
My fever has broke, healing begins slowly. Inside I can wane and wander, but TRUTH is so much better than waving a frail flag of concession when the heart longs for something it never had.
Friend, foe? We are neither; to rise up to that which has been, to accept the complexities of another trial is a task I am too worn down for.
The word forgiveness has been written in so many languages, spoken in so many tongues, and yet it is still up to me alone to define. I am my own saviour, my sage is the essence of time, be it hours or an eternal quest, it is my call.
I leave it all alone now, tucked away in my garnet beaded heart. My tears are from the inside now.
About the Creator
ROCK aka Andrea Polla (Simmons)
~ American feminist living in Sweden ~ SHE/HER
Admin. Vocal Social Society
Find me: @andreapolla63.bsky.social
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Comments (14)
Wow. Simply incredible writing. Well done.
Fantastic, ROCK. Just wow. The whole thing is superb. The line about Truth being better than concessions really resonated with me
This is well written, so vividly painted 😁
Deep, truthful, and so lushly written! Enjoyed this very much. Wonferful work! 🤗
You have such a unique, vivid writing style. It's so easy to get sucked into your work. Amazing as always! I'm really stuck on the image of a "garnet beaded heart". Just fantastic!
Your heartfelt words paint a vivid picture of introspection and the complexities of forgiveness, may your garnet beaded heart find peace as you navigate the path of self-discovery and healing, thank you very much for sharing!
This is very poignant! Well-wrought! The topic of forgiveness is an interesting one. I often think that Thomas Paine's take on "loving thy enemy" is relevant here: it's like giving a premium for crime, he says, and I have found through bitter experience that it is too often true: too many of us take forgiveness as an indication we can indefinitely repeat the transgression. Condemnation is equally fatuous, of course, especially where the offender is hopelessly ignorant. In some matters, we are not only entitled but, I would say, we have a responsibility to cultivate a careful indifference, so we can save our best energies for those who deserve it. We've only got so much time, and should seek to use it wisely. There was a lot of lovely wordplay here, Sarge! I really enjoyed it!
That ending was sooo impactful! Great job!
Gosh, this was so poignant, emotional, hard hitting, very profound and extremely powerful! I wanna print this, frame it and hang it in my room!
Very much liking your style and structure here. Thoughtful words Rock. 👏😊
ROCK! This is so painfully deep it brought my own experiences raw and up front and reminded me just how much we all have collective humanity and collective sufferings that love brings that we must heal from as we learn to love ourselves. Sending you much love as I salute you as well! Wonderfully written! <3
This is beautiful, brimming with Truth with a capital T and raw, ROCK. I wish you every success as you walk the difficult pathway of the Hero’s journey. We humans are both gregarious and independent beings, making self-healing all the more difficult. But until we love and embrace ourselves, we will continue to depend on often undependable others to love and fill our seeming emptiness. Ourselves I’m not telling anything you do not already know.
Yeah - indifference is worse than dislike, hate, anger. When you reach that, there is no coming back. Staying strong is sometimes our weakness (at least mine).
When I feel as if all the scars sliced through my soul could be erased, I feel null and void. Nonetheless, when I realize that history is history, I must live with it. The protagonist's fever has broken, healing begins slowly, and I can wane and wander, but truth is better than concession. I enjoyed reading and I learned life from your poem. You nailed it Rock!