confessions of a psych patient

im sitting here.

shaking.

rocking back and fourth.

she doesn't believe me

so i'm stuck.

stuck in my thoughts that have been haunting me all day.

she doesn't have time for me...

so i am alone in my pain.

alone in my sorrow.

im sitting here.

shaking.

rocking back and fourth.

she doesn't believe me

i'm sitting here counting down the seconds until i get some relief.

you see shift change is a thirty minute period where all hell breaks loose.

patients without supervision can come up with some pretty clever ideas if i do say so myself.

im sitting here.

shaking.

rocking back and fourth.

she doesn't believe me

i finally got to see her and she said she didn't have time for me tonight

that her night was too busy doing other things that she couldn't possibly find five minutes of time to talk to me.

five minutes that may mean relief from my pain.

five minutes that may mean a brief reprieve from my suffering

it would have taken all of five minutes.

she turns to me and clarifies what i already know... she has five patients to deal with..

im sitting here.

shaking.

rocking back and fourth.

she doesn't believe me

so my problems are going to have to wait.

you've said i don't matter and my problems are less than worthy

without even saying a word.

but this is incident number 4897 in my life.

so why would anyone care?

im sitting here.

shaking.

rocking back and fourth.

she doesn't believe me

i'm damaged at best and ruined at most.

you know what so what if this is incident number 4897 ...

It still hurts

the pain is accumulated

the agony burns unceasingly.

my chest is so heavy

how could i be expected to breathe?

im sitting here.

shaking.

rocking back and fourth.

she doesn't believe me

she wouldn't even give me five minutes.

but you know what.

i am stronger now.

i am a warrior and i will keep on fighting the good fight

whether or not i feel like it or not.

oh yes and honey, i learned long ago that i'll outlast you.

bitches like you can't make me small.

i am big

hear me roar.