Clear Head

It began on January 17, 2025, with a bout with the flu that wiped my entire being out for about a month.

It was the last day of smoking or ingesting any marijuana, something I'd done religiously for the past six or so years.

At first, I was sick so it didn't matter if I had any pot, because I didn't want anything to do with it.

When the flu left my body, my brain became clearer. As the days passed, another month passed, and now into March, I am acutely aware that my brain is clear.

I call it 'clear head'.

The ringing has almost ceased in my ears.

I can think rational thoughts without anxiety.

Yes, I have moments of anger, irrationality, and irritation, yet I can now navigate through all of that with more patience and without the thought of 'needing to smoke to get me through'.

The realization that I was using pot as some crutch has hit me - no pun intended - as slightly embarrassing and somewhat childish.

I'm not against it, and enjoy the smell of it, yet have come to an understanding of myself; pot isn't necessary for my survival, my courage, my confidence, or anything else.

I'm happy to be and go without.