Can I Just Come Home

The brutal realization that

Choosing this life

Choosing this time

Choosing this existence

And accepting

And agreeing to take on

These earthly lessons

Was a poor choice

But a very necessary one to

Guide me and help me

Understand how weak my soul is

How helpless I am in Your eyes

I needed to learn to make

Better choices

And not let my toxic ego and arrogance

Get in the way of my own progress

My karma has been a journey of

Tripping myself up with

Rosey pink expectations

And thinking my Will was

Stronger and greater than Yours

Thinking I knew what was best for me

And focusing on my wants

My desires

On me

And not my needs

The needs You promised me

Would always be provided for

It has been necessary for me

To learn I cannot control the narrative

From either side of the veil

No matter what form my soul is in

I am so tired of stumbling through these

Thick oppressive dense plumes of smoke

Getting in the way of me staying on my sacred path

The path You chose for me

Thinking and praying that

Someday someday someday

There will be no more cruelty

No more hate

No more greed

No more violence

No more human ugliness

I’m tired of putting my faith in man

When I need to put my faith in You

I’ve learned my lesson

Father, please forgive my arrogance

I am so sorry

Can I just come home now?

-- Julie O'Hara 2023

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