Bluffing
& Under-performing
"Can I buy you a drink?"
🍺
💭 ... if I promise not to tell you what I think... 💭
🍻
💭 ... ... ... 💭
⚡
💭 You're out of my league.
"I could be everything you need."
💭 I open with my usual attempt to persuade:
"You should drink hard liquor & get laid."
😉
⚡
💭 Everybody is turned on by confidence
"You know I'm so fly!"
💭 Saying that always feels so arrogant
Thank God I'm so high! ⚡😎👍
⚡
"I'm a true bad ass!"
💭 And if you believe that, you're a total dumb ass!
⚡
"I'm not too old for you!
"Daddy was sent here to serve!"
💭 I'm totally too old for you
with baggage and issues and bullshit you do not deserve.
⚡
"So...
"Yo!
"Let's go,"
💭 Ho 💭
⚡
"Youth before beauty!
"Don't worry, I'll follow!"
💭 Your ass is a cutie.
I wonder: do you swallow?
⚡
❗👀❗
"Sure, I've been to plenty of cribs like yours."
💭 Never⚡ in my all wildest imaginings⚡have I've ever seen any place like yours❗
⚡
💭 What the holy fuck is that thing used for?!?❗🫣❓
"Absolutely, I know what that is used for!"
💭 ... ... ... 💭
😱
⚡
"Of course, I can do this."
💭 I don't know if I can do this!
" 'Where will this lead?' 🤷
"I'm clueless."
"But no doubt: we'll feel more alive,"
💭 if we survive.
⚡ ⚡ ⚡ ⚡
"We can take it slow
"and let it grow."
💭 Let's go really fast!
This probably won't last!!!
"We should keep our heads.
"We don't need to jump straight into bed."
💭 Let's get drunk and mindlessly fuck and suck and fuck and fuck and fuck,
then take a break for snacks
🍓🍇🍫 🧁 🥯
🌮🌮🍷🍾 🍩🥨
🍅🍅 🌶🥜 🍑 🍆 🍌 🌭
🥠 🍹🍸
🍒
and then get drunker and smoke weed
and sucksucksucksuckSUCK!!!
and fuckfuckfuckFUCKFUCK and
💭 F U C K❗💭 !!! 💭
......
and fuck a couple more times for good luck
...... 💭
⚡ 🛏 ⚡
"I can go all night! Call me 'Mister Steady!'"
💭 Shit!
I'm going to cum already!
🫤
⚡
"I'll get over it; it's fine;
"I actually feel blessed."
💭 You just exhibited every known sign
of not being impressed.
<sigh>
"Doesn't surprise me."
💭 The final question always is the same: 💭
Will you ultimately despise me?
Do you think I'm lame?
❓
⚡
💭 Your eyes are like knives!
Baby, retract those claws!
I don't have hives -- {currently}
Breathe! Take a pause!
⚡
"Look, I'm serious!"
💭 You're looking at me like I did something hilarious.
"We could always try this again."
😐 💭 Hello, Laughter, my old friend.
~by
________________Bolt⚡
I tried two different tones for the Things You Can't Say Out Loud challenge.
Humor 😂☝ & Heartbreak 😢👇
About the Creator
Keep reading
More stories from Lightning Bolt ⚡ and writers in Poets and other communities.
If You Love Me, You'll Do It
I met Jason when I was five years old. I could say that I loved him from the moment I saw him. He was so handsome to me and I felt in awe by his presence. When they introduced him as the new kid in school, I wanted to be his friend right away. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember his smile and how he didn't seem shy. He appeared confident and ready to learn. I waved at him and said "hello," before anyone else could even say a word. He sat next to me, and I asked him if he wanted to be friends. He looked so happy as he said, "Yes!"
By Sidney Smith (Sid Smith)7 days ago in Fiction
Comments (6)
I am actually glad that I read the heartbreak before the humour. It helped to balance me out. This was lovely, a clear song in its unique rhythm. The perfect interruptive inner thought really gave this its own charm. The story being played out, we all know it too well. Something that was fun but still won’t last. A go with the flow until it ends kind of thing. Well done, this was nice to read and I love the chuckle it got out of me. ♥️🤗👏🏽
This made me laugh out loud… I wonder do you swallow! 🤣
aww I love your stories. You have a romantic heart
Did things work out? Quite erotic.
Interesting form
Hahahahhahahaha this was hilarious!