all those bloody haikus
they are always way too short
just enough hook to reel you in
but not enough to get really caught
i don’t know about anyone else
a bit ripped off is how i feel
a frenzied seventeen syllable starburst
and then nothing but the still
(tumbleweeds and crickets)
but once you're five syllables in
there’s no turning back
it’s like wanting a meal
but getting a snack
five seven five
so much less is so much more
ahhh the mysterious east
it’s a Zen thing i am sure
hats off to all of those practitioners
of this form of literary art
who said it best said it for less
a winnowing of words from the start
there’s no right there’s no wrong
there’s no plot there’s no long
there just is
om
.
.
.
In closing I would like to quote one of Australia's greatest philosophical minds, tried to find a video or a sound clip of His Royal Rodneyness (Get Rude on, Get Rude on) but couldn't:
"No No No, Fuckin No!" Rodney Rude
Peace and Grins People
About the Creator
Bren
"It's just a token of my extreme!" - Frank Zappa
"Cause it's all in the heat of the moment It's all in the pain!!!" - Devin Townsend
Centre Stage with the wonderful Heather Hubler
Comments (9)
Dear Brenton F, Will You grant me the permission to use Your poem, "Bloody Haiku," in a video? Sincerely, Thavien Yliaster
"a winnowing of words" - I love that 😁
Who said it best, said it for less. I loved that line the most! Lol, that quote at the end!
Haha!!!! So good! “it’s like wanting a meal but getting a snack” Brilliant! Love this rant! 😂
Fantastic Haikus! Amazing work!
Awesome lines and loved it!!!❤️❤️💕
This is top story stuff. It’s literary zen
This was fun critique on a poetic form. "it’s like wanting a meal but getting a snack" lol. Very true description! Who the heck is Rodney Rude?
I don't know why, but this sounds like You're (sexually) frustrated with haikus. Like just when the going gets good the good gets going. Then again, Jazzy just had a filthy haiku competition. So, that might explain some of the frustration. Mikeydred said that haikus were more like a plague though. Makes sense, I wonder though if Vocal intended the haikus to be more like an algae bloom luring in whales coming to feed on the mass amounts of krill, but instead of whales we get readers and people that are skilled with words known for winning competitions at the touch of their fingertips. "a frenzied fifteen syllable starburst" Now I want a starburst, and I've always known them to be 17, but once You get to syllable 15 the flavor's sort of already melted in Your mouth and it begins to fade as quickly as it struck. Mmmm... starburst. I always enjoyed their lemon and orange flavors.