Between Here and There...

I lay in the backyard the warmth of the sun touching my skin

I listen to some Reggae to help me relax

I sit back, close my eyes, and my mind takes me to another place

I'm reminded of the good ol days filled with better times, and lots of smiles

I see the sun’s rays shining down from the sky

The golden hues glistening off the waves in the distance

I feel a calm, happy feeling within my soul as the waves ever so gently push up on the shore

I may not be physically in the same destination

But the peace I feel within my soul that part still feels real

I'm shook from my happy place, my son asking mom what’s for dinner

Once again sucked back into a Grimm reality as I walk back into the house

After dinner the only thing left is to sit with my thoughts for the night

A situation I'm not totally in love with, but trying to figure out how to fight

I am no longer who I once was

The only thing left is to recreate myself

I try not to dwell in the past

Although, I seem to have daily reminders everywhere I look

I educate myself online trying to find a way to move forward, trying to find the new me!

But what if the new me just needs to go back to the beginning

I don't need to recreate myself from scratch but go back to who I once was

Before the world told me who I should be

I was someone who loved art, loved to travel, loved immersing myself in other cultures

I genuinely liked helping others, I had a kind heart and a beautiful soul

Life has made me so jaded, a hard rock, closed, and isolated

I often think to myself, if I didn't have all these health issues I could get back to living my life

That's when it struck me like a bolt of lightning

All my woes one day could disappear if I finally could make up by mind

Stick to a decision without any wavering

I am meant to write

I am meant to be a storyteller, after all it's what our Ancestors brought down

Stories being told, handed down from generation to generation

That is what I will do... I will use my creativity to write and create works of art to help tell stories

I found myself reading more and I was actually inspired

The words of wisdom and stories of others shared

Brought me connection and another perspective

Maybe one day my works can be influential too

A peak inside another person's perspective, a how to not give up

A creative, made up universe, we can all travel to

After all, it's something I had been slowly transitioning into

I'm not a therapist, I'm not an expert, I just have a lot of useless knowledge

Why recreate myself into something other than who I am