Belonging

I don’t belong here

Even if there is belonging here

I keep my sense of longing near

As I return to these errands that I call my life

I wonder if the search for home

Is actually what makes it

Takes it away from shelters

And shifts it so that I can taste it

Because home is how I feel

Home is the absence of needing to be anywhere

Or anything

Or anyone

My family is chosen

My truth is spoken

My heart is open

And you have the gall to say that

My home is broken

I think it’s your glasses

Smeared with shame and with ashes

Obfuscating your reality into something

Dark and twisted and cold

But I know love

So you can’t fucking touch me

I don’t belong here

Because here is a place

And home is a taste

And I belong where I feel safe

So I will continue to look for it

In the grass and the tears and the orbit

The search is what makes it real

Because home is how I feel