Back to Reality

"BEEP BEEP BEEP"

Rolls over hits alarm grabs phone

Scrolls through Instagram, Facebook, Apple news

I really need to get a morning routine I say for the umpteenth time

I know it’ll be better for my mental health and I don’t know why I won’t do it.

Is today the day I stay in bed all day in the dark? Is today the day I finally give up?

‘Buzz Buzz’

It’s my friend sending me a funny picture of us, I laugh, I guess I can try to get through today.

Sits on the edge of the bed wondering is my heart ever going to stop hurting? Yesterday was fun, but it always comes back to this.

Time to go let the dog out and get fresh air. I guess it might be okay today.

Let’s set up this tea to feel some air of normalcy.

Puts on clothes I find on the floor, damn I wish I had more energy to put into my look. Sweatpants will have to do.

I should work out, they say it helps. I can barely get myself to eat though. Damn I need a therapist.

‘Ding Ding’ Shit I have a meeting in 20 minutes.

I’ll have to shove some food in my mouth because I can’t take these meds on an empty stomach again. Oh yea drink water stay hydrated. It’s supposed to help.

I feel so lost without you. I know I shouldn’t be angry but this feels awfully like it’s your fault.

Okay meeting time. What are we meeting about? Time to turn on the camera, hopefully my hair doesn’t look like shit.

Oh my god… My face isn’t coming up…only house plants and paintings?!

There’s nothing there.

I knew it was only a matter of time before I turned into my overwhelming emptiness.