antithesis of blame

i never got to say goodbye,

but maybe that’s ok

you’d fought & fought the fight, & i

wasn’t going that way

no house, no job, an empty bed

these were your possessions

the die’s been cast, the tea leaves read:

signs point to depression

the anger, guilt, & tears i’ve shed

aren’t worth a fucking damn

but “sorry” won’t keep a man fed

& neither wolf nor lamb

can give us back what we have lost

despite what the book says

i wonder, did you ask the cost?

& in the end, who pays?

but i understand what you did

i’d do the same thing, too

demons of which we can’t be rid

might drive me home to you

now appointments & prescriptions

they mark my passing days

i bid farewell to delusions

but know it’s not a phase

the darkness that inside you dwelled

is now my silent friend

i hope, for now, the beast is quelled

but will it be my end?