Am I supposed to be

am I supposed to be

(Am I still here )

Grappling with my heart torn apart for centuries

Is it meant to be healed because of a empty promises, with bandages that I hope will stay safe and sound?(This is not my darling Jane, no)

Are dark ravens meant to be safe?

Can their large pointed wings keep you free as they encircle your entire being?

They compliment you with underhanded insults,

And make you think you are too weak to handle such a quiet, cutting remark?

Am I supposed to be happy after hundreds of tears, thousands of times of torment?

Of pain that felt like forever hitting you like a lash?

Am I supposed to sit here with

A dark raven sitting perched above my head, mad and loud,

And now suddenly forget it all

And just laugh

And smile

And pretend so much that one day,

It might be real?

Am I wrong? Am I bad to feel pain even after the worst torment has ceased?

Now because the distance of the abuse is dulled, and lessened—-

Am I supposed to be happy now?

Feeling lost and trapped and alone?

I suppose many feel this

In the meantime of their pulsing torment,

As I, Edward, can feel both such intimate agony

And of a sweet fervency with Jane

Of a good friend, a kindness

In the mist of my heart’s turmoil

Can no longer turnover such a huge remainder of a degraded bond, trauma bond, pained rip in my soul.

Am I supposed to be

Existing in my pain?—-

I love others so I will,

As so many do,

As my Jane does everyday, she suffers too,

Alone, I hope she knows that her Edward is holding her close like a tied string.