If you were to ask me for a portrait painted with the finest of oils, I would render you with a metaphor instead
and I would call you the ocean -
one that laps along the length of a lonely shore heavy from the weight of the tide
where, upon subsiding, you take with you an edge of sand.
Oftentimes, you leave a tangle behind -
that or driftwood or detritus.
And when you do, all the little creatures would come out to clean and carry it away.
And then there are days when you leave pretty things.
Mainly they are shells that catch the sun in ways the rocks on the beach never could -
that or scales from the many-hued fish or the stately plumage from migrating birds.
They colour the paleness of the sand with charms and delights
until you reach out with a wave,
for all the pretty things you leave behind: the shells, the scales, the plumage,
all of them are yours.
And you keep them where you keep the sand you take from the lonely shore;
from so many lonely shores.
Lately your waves have been empty -
that or the beach is now too thin to bear the tangles, driftwood and detritus, or any of your pretty things
save for the foam of your sigh;
if you remember to leave that at all.
But sometimes you forget and leave a pearl behind.
And when you do, all the little creatures would rush out to admire it for as long as they could
until your waves come back again.
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Comments (75)
Intriguing!
I'm a bit late to this, but I'm glad I read it. It's beautifully thoughtful.
Nice write-up dear
This was truly beautiful!!!
I love the imagery of this! Good work! 🦋
Holy crap, this is gorgeous. The metaphor here is working so hard and so well. I want to cry at all the emotions. 😭 ❤️
Wow! I see why you were second place in that challenge! The metaphor of the ocean sometimes leaving things on the shores, sometimes leaving pretty things, and those things creating beauty where it otherwise wasn't necessarily... really loved that image! This was amazing, well done!
Gorgeous writing. Love your lyrical title.
this is beautiful, congratulations.
Congratulations 🎉💕💕💕
Congratulations 🎉
Congratulations...
Well done!
Beautiful! <3
😭. I came back to read this again as it is just so eloquently done and such a sad and beautiful rendering of losing yourself in a relationship. At least, that’s what it means to me. 🥰
Good work!
super
Beautiful work! Congratulations on the win!
gorgeous work! Congratulations! 🎉
Beautiful work!
Absolutely stunning. Thank you so much for this piece. I will think about the precious pearl left by your beloved subject and their now empty waves. Beautiful work that leaves me wondering in awe at the depth of this metaphor.
Congrats! A truly beautiful poem. :)
This is incredible! congrats!
An incredibly well written poem, really beautiful
Congratulations 🎈🎉