After the Parade

Red

Orange

Yellow

Green

Blue

Purple

I sit with you,

On the train riding home from the city.

Deconstruct the colors and strip back down to grey.

I walk off the platform into black and white thinking.

Don't say, don't say, don't say,

Gay,

Trans,

love is love.

Say fagot, say tranny, say dyke, say anything but gay is okay.

After the parade

say love is only for man and woman,

say gender identity isn't a thing,

say you are what is between your legs.

Red and orange I stare at you through burning shop windows,

Yellow reflections of rifle fire on the TV,

Green grass shoved in my nose as I am pushed to the ground,

Blue bruises, fade into purple as time moves on from June.

After the Parade will you still try to stand?

Will you wave your rainbow flags?

After the Parade can I still kiss my Girl? and Hold her hand?

After the Parade, will we be okay?

After the Parade will gay be okay?

—————-

This poem was written after coming out to my dad in Florida. At 26 he accepted me as a lesbian and took me to Ybor city pride. I was so happy and proud to be there… Shortly after the parade my dad begged me to closet myself again because we had dinner plans with his family friends, this awkward dinner with people I had considered like family.

Oh to only to endure awkward and aggressive conversations surrounding trans, non-bianary, and other LGBTQ+ issues while Fox News played in the background.

The culminating weeks were floods of anti-LGBTQ hate crimes on the news, and the fight against trans-athletes. I mourn the Orlando nightclub shooting as clips play on the TV, as news outlets compare it to what’s going on today.

Being physically attacked for loving someone is such a strange concept, and yet it happens daily to so many in the community. I’m a cis-gender white Femme Lesbian, and I was physical pushed to the ground and spat at because of who I love, by people I had thought loved me.

I flew home from Florida mourning their lack of understanding, grieving that these people were now dead to me.

In June I attend Pride in my home city of Toronto where being queer truely was celebrated, and yet on the train I wept and mourned my past.

Later that week we get the over turning of Roe Vs. Wade, and following the talk of another Supreme Court justice going after legal rights for gay people. To say it’s not a scary time is an understatement.

Be Gay.

Love who you want.

xxx- Britt