After the Parade

I may not go to the parade

I rather sit at home and cry

For all the times I was scared

To see another face and lie

“I am fine, I am well,” tell a tale

Every day since I can recollect

But I am depressed and scared

To show myself no disrespect

I will not go to the parade

If I do, I will be disassociated

People cause anxiety; I’m scared

They won’t like me, it is fated

I do not know the words to say

Mind blank or too full of speech

Tedious or overwhelming, scared

Saying the wrong words, screech

I can not go to the parade

Sick now with anxiety, panicked

I will stay home, hide, scared

My room is safe but isolated

I am fine, I will survive, as before

Look at me, on autopilot, numb

Inside these four walls, not scared

But alone and lonely, hiding from

Life’s parade.