About To Break

My life has never been so confusing before,

Most days I just sleep, I don’t want to do this anymore.

There is a big empty hole inside of my chest,

I no longer feel complete; incapable of being my best.

When so much of me is gone, I have very little left to give,

All I can think about is the life I was supposed to live.

My purpose was clear, before my place in the world was taken away,

What I wouldn’t give to wake up in the morning and be okay.

I can’t seem to shake this depression, it’s getting pretty rough,

Eating away at my soul, I’ve just about had enough.

Every single part of me is broken; I’m beyond repair,

Like the misfit toys everyone has but are too embarrassed to share.

People always have an opinion on what it is that will fix me,

They have no idea just how far I’ve slipped away from reality.

Still I go through their motions, while totally bankrupt inside,

I’m just a lost cause, nobody knows just how hard I’ve tried.

Some things you just never come back from, maybe this is it,

The Rachel I once was is gone, now this is who you get.

No amount of time will help me recover, no matter I do,

If you really stop and think about it, I died that night too.

Nothing has ever fucked me up so bad that I couldn’t bounce back,

Unable to move, as every part of my life is under attack.

When I’m asleep is the only time I have any peace at all,

Till the nightmares kick in then my back is against the wall.

All I know is there isn’t very much more that I can take,

Everything in me is on the ledge, I’m about to break.