A Weirdo's Wet Dream
a poem for people who dream of being normal*
Oh. Yes! This is so - so - noooooooooorrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaallllllllll
Say that again and let me lick you.
What? Normal?
No. Not like that. Release it from you as a steam of sound. Let it rise from a warm, rose-tinted place inside. Let it billow in exhalation!
Normal?
No! Say it and mean it. Say it with the undulating ease of a full-bodied yawn on a long summer's day.
Noooor - mal?
No. That sounds contrived. Placating. Insincere. Bored. Say it and own it. Say it as though you were the voice of a clover-covered meadow humming with earnest bees.
Nooooooorrrmmmma - buzz-buzz-buzz - aaaallll
No. That is inauthentic. Not normal.
Okay, err, normal.
No. You said that like a post (missionary) coital cucumber sandwich nibbled at while sitting on my Nan's lawn waiting for mother to pour a cup of tea.
Erm, is that normal?
Who has sex on their Nan's lawn while eating cucumber sandwiches and waiting for their mother to pour tea?
Normal people?
I don't know what kind of weirdo you've been hanging out with.
------------------
Author's note:
* like me!
Also, confession: I am rather partial to a cucumber sandwich. May have to add a recipe to my collection because there is an art to cucumber sandwich making that not many people know.
Also, also - Yes, it has been a while. Lots going on. Book very much in progress. Moving house. Life. Blah. Blah. Blah. Just wanted to drop by, drop this, and say hi.
I hope to be reading more soon.
Thank you for reading this.
Sending love,
CJ xxx
About the Creator
Caroline Jane
CJ lost the plot a long time ago. Now, she writes to explore where all paths lead, collecting crumbs of perspective as her pen travels. One day, she may have enough for a cake, which will, no doubt, be fruity.
Keep reading
More stories from Caroline Jane and writers in Poets and other communities.
Day 4 of Quitting
If this is how sobriety feels, maybe it’s better to go through life a little buzzed… this, along with other hits like, I want to kill myself, I wish I was dead, and I’m going to throw myself off a bridge have been the only thoughts on rotation these past few days. I promise myself that if, in a month, I still feel like this (‘this’ meaning despondent, full of rage, and simultaneously numb) I can go back to smoking. Until mid-February though? Nicotine is off the table.
By sleepy drafts6 days ago in Longevity
Comments (10)
Oh my gosh that's hilarious 🤣 Gonna read it again 😁
This made me laugh Caroline! Excellent dialogue wordplay!
This gave me a good laugh, welcome back!
Damn - I think I must be doing something wrong with my cucumber sandwiches! Ha! This was fab! Was thinking about you the other day - glad you’re back.
I'm not a fan of cucumber. I only like drinking it, as cucumber juice. My grandma used to make it very often when I was a kid. But there was once I had no choice but to eat a cucumber sandwich. It was store bought and only had sliced cucumbers and a slice of cheese in it. Surprisingly, it tasted good. But anything tastes good when you're super hungry, so there's that hahahahahaha Anyway, I'm looking forward to your cucumber sandwich recipe. Also, loved your weird poem! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
This was very amusing, Caroline! 😁 Thx 4 sharing!🌸
This was fun!! Nicely done, Caroline!!
I use cucumbers as subs, split covered with cream cheese and tomato , this is a great recipe for fun
This comment has been deleted
I will never look at a cucumber sandwich again in the same way as before...lol
Haha. Omg. So Not nooooorrrrrrmmmmmmaaaaaaalllllll. But that's why I luv ya. 🤪