A Trial Run
Childhood: Preparation For What Was to Come
Dear Guardian Angel,
I'm not sure what you did wrong to get saddled with me and all of my baggage. but it must have been pretty bad. My life has been nothing short of a shitshow, as I'm sure you are well aware.
It always has been, if I am honest. From the earliest days I can remember.
I pick and choose memories, remembering them as the best days, the good ol' days, but in reality, we were simply surviving. And you were there.
It wasn't until I was much older that I realized, what we did, what we saw, was not normal. As a kid, you don't have a clue that not everyone, in fact, most, would never experience what we did, and that it was not normal. And still you stayed with me.
Maybe I needed to experience those things to keep me sane as I went through the events that have taken place the past several years.
A trial run.
I am now able to give myself a bit of credit. Most people would have surrendered, quit, given up, after all of the things that happened. God knows I wanted to. But here I am.
I don't know what string, which thread, or what kind of hope kept me rolling out of bed and mimicking normal, day after day.
I guess that was you, thank you.
Somedays, I catch my reflection, and still see that little girl, hopeful, bold and stubborn. I wonder if she looks back and scoffs, disappointed at how I handled things, at who we've become.
I've got this to say to the two of you, just wait. I have no intention of giving up now. I am yet to be what I am meant to be. That day is coming.
Thank you for all of your hard work and prodding, it has been an investment, that soon, will pay off.
I hope you are proud.
Your work in progress -
K
About the Creator
Kelli Sheckler-Amsden
Telling stories my heart needs to tell <3 life is a journey, not a competition
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Comments (7)
Bold, beautiful, brilliant letter!!! Bravo!!!♥️♥️💕
This hit home for me. My guardian angel was a teacher who talked about breaking the chain of abuse. Mr Herscha never knew he helped me but his words got me through a lot of bad times. Because I knew I was going to break the chain of abuse.
Beautiful, powerful letter, Kelli! ❤️
My first thought as I began reading this was that you'd been reading my mail again. I have frequently thought back over all the women I'd fallen for or who had fallen for me, & how lucky they are that they didn't get stuck with me. My wife used to complain that she wasn't here to teach "Relationships 101". It took almost 30 years for her to figure out that I was not simply introverted but autistic. (Every time she'd say, "I think you may have Asperger's," I kept hearing it as "Tourette's". I kept wondering what she was talking about. I hardly swore at all, much less constantly & randomly, lol.) Then, you got me thinking about growing up in the families each of us have & how to kids it all seems normal because it's all we know. We think everyone's lives are like this (The same way as my autism seemed to me all those years before I knew that there was something about me that really was different.) And then you arrived at this wonderful combination of gratitude & resolve, that strong confident woman I have come to appreciate so much through your writing. I find at this point that all I want to do is applaud you & say, "You go, girl!" (in the colloquial sense, no diminution to be implied).
very well done.
Very nice kelli, brings to mind my most cherished quote, “giving up is the final tragedy”, yup it is, good message in your words, keep on keeping on 😊
That was lovely thanks for sharing! 😊✨ I am reading a book about angels at the moment and connecting to that realm. It’s really powerful. Positive energy attracts a likeness, best wishes.