A Story To Tell Pt.1: With The Flip of A Coin

I know I'm doing too much, because I feel I have too much to prove
Such actions come from such feelings that say my value is tied to what I can do
I know that's not true, but knowledge and belief are two different things
Two sides of the same coin, like insecurity and pride
My pride I prove and every insecurity I hide
Because what I approve on one side I reject on the other
With the flip of a coin I'll decide
On whether or not I'll lie here on my side
Behind these walls I erect, that let me neglect what's on the other
The bad weather, the side of myself I don't like to show, and the side of my life I feel I need to keep covered
But I know I can't heal as I need, if I won't take off the disguise
The ugliness behind the prettiest lies I told straight to your eyes
Say that I'm fine and hope that you pay me no mind
A man of few words but there's more on my mind
I'm losing this fight, there's a war in my mind
Indecisive, with the flip of a coin I'll choose
Two moods, heads, tails, what I will tell? Tell me, what do I have to lose?
What am I trying to prove and who am I hoping will see?
Who am I trying to prove it to when I'm the one who doesn't believe?