A little over everything

How do I begin to tell you?
That, as in a dream, life's scenes flashes before me
In no particular order.
That like a toad, leaping and landing in wherever
No well designate road
That if life was surely a collection of experiences,
Then I perhaps may have collected too many of them.
because now, like a parliament of owls, they lump up together and gaze at me with disdain doused in profanity

How do I begin to tell you?
That, I'm looking for the source
without a map, just hitting every stop
perchance I might stumble on it.
That I'm shooting to kill
To kill my demons
Without aiming, just taking shots
perhaps, it will hit.
That with my ammunition wasted,
a truce is struck.

How do I begin to tell you?
That like a newborn, it is a ritual that I should cry
That I couldn't tell why
I couldn't explain it to the house, just wail and let them see.
That in that loud cry, is a jigsaw of words and wants
They laugh, it brings ecstasy to them...
the sound of the cry filled with words they couldn't understand.
How do I begin to tell you?