A Krismuss Miracul

'Twere the night before Krismuss

Up there on the hill.

We wuz sharin' the last of

The run from the still

~

With most of the kinfolk

And a buncha' friends,

Gramma in her nightshirt

And Pa in Depends.

~

We'd hung all the stockin's

But they all caught fire,

So we'd hung up some tin cans

With a buncha' bobwire.

~

Ma was crackin' some peekans

To bake us a pie,

Cuz the hawgs et the punkins

When they tore down the sty.

~

Sissy wuz there, with Michael,

And the whole Hubler brood.

They showed up singin' carols,

With buckits of food!

~

And the young'uns and old'uns

Had all settled down

While Pam snuggled up with me

In a cute gingham gown

~

And me, I wuz wishin' the

Whole world could be

As happy this Krismuss

As my kin and me!

~

When all of a sudden,

A knock on the door

Made me jump to my feet

And skid 'crost the floor.

~

Grabbin' the brass knob,

I flung the door wide,

And a Krismuss miracul

Wuz waitin' outside.

~

30 Vocal Kreeators

Met my bloodshot eyes

And they'uz holdin' a passel

Of huge punkin pies!

~

There wuz Kristen, and Donna,

L.C. and Sir Paul,

And Jason and Judey -

Heck, I cain't name 'em all,

~

But I brought 'em all in and we

Had a big feast,

And I had fifteen helpin's

Of that pie, at least.

~

Then the party wuz over,

And they drank their last cup

Cuz Krismuss wuz comin'

And that's when I woke up.

~

But I Iheard Cathy's voice,

Ringin' out loud and clear,

“Merry Christmas, ya' heathen!

And Happy New Year!”

***

Author's note: To my Vocal friends whose names aren't included, please know that you're no less important to me. To my Vocal friends whose names are included, well, please know that you're no less important to me. And to those who aren't familiar with Big Bro, here's where he originated:

Thanks for Readin'!