A Breakthrough

Another day gone,

Another day of faking it and smiling through.

Try as you may, happiness is a distant dream.

Positive thoughts far and few.

What do you do when something's not quite right?

When there's no explanation or cause.

A light has switched off somewhere inside,

Your brain is on pause.

You laugh along with your friends,

You self-deprecate and make jokes.

But your heart's not in it, you want a fix

What do you do when you don't know what's broke.

You try and try, you rack your brain,

For a sign, a clue, a rational explanation.

"Why don't I feel okay, why this anxiety?

God, I need a vacation."

It slowly starts, the downward spiral,

The subconscious ways to numb it all.

The YouTube videos for white noise, a shot of whiskey before bed,

But you shrug off the signs, refusing to believe you're in free fall.

"Hey let's do shots," you say to your friends,

And they laugh, "Alcoholic," they joke.

Man, they sure don't seem to get it

For a generation so woke.

They're glad you're not with your ex anymore.

"Good riddance, we never liked him," they say.

But they never ask if you're doing fine

Or notice that you can barely make it through the day.

You're still trying desperately, not wanting to feel a thing

You close off, you're distant, not answering calls

But what of the voices in your own head?

"Unlovable, annoying", when did self-love take such a fall

Now they start to see it too,

All the ones you call your friends

"You've changed, this isn't you," they judge

Never asking why, no concern, no shoulder to lend.

You're drifting now, too far gone,

Seeking solace in questionable places.

Approval and validation from strangers online

You're done with familiar faces.

Until one day you wake up and just stare at your reflection

"Who is this," you think, you barely recognise

Who you were just a blink of an eye ago,

What is this awful disguise?

You wonder when it happened

"Why am I a 90's pop song cliche?"

Enough with the blame game and pity,

It's time to seize the damn day.

Flush the whiskey down the toilet, turn your phone back on,

Apologise to your friends.

It wasn't their fault, you shut them out,

It's always been out of love, you can now comprehend.

People can surprise you, just give them a chance

And give yourself one too.

The clouds will lift, the smog can clear,

Just one last push through.

Yes you've changed, but now you see

You only came out stronger,

And to think this is all because

You decided not to rely on fate any longer.

No life's not perfect and never will be,

You still struggle at times and can't sleep

But you're trying and that's what counts,

And that's the lesson you'll always keep.

And so yet another day gone,

But this time your smile is true.

Happiness is now your reality

Your life has begun anew.