A Battle of Wits, Already Lost

Which dog howls louder?

The Yapping Pup, little-pawed,

Or the wise old hound?

Swift to insult a master,

Knowing they cannot compare.

This style of poem is called a Tanka, a form of Japanese poetry primarily used to exchange love notes between courting couples. It follows the more well-known Haiku for the first three lines, then ads an additional two lines of 7 syllables each, for a total of 31. If the poet was really keen on showing off, the Tanka could be read three ways: the first three and last two lines serving as distinct poems in their own right, and as a greater five-line poem.

It's also a callback to the Norse custom of flyting, a literal battle of insults, where the combatants took turns utterly demolishing each other with words.

I wrote the poem when two particimants in a Discord fangroup essentially threw a tantrum because the fanauthor refused to cater to their perception of how the story should be, and went crying to a third party, who apparently gets his kicks writing bad poetry about people who have no idea he exists until he tags them. Since the story in question is a How To Train Your Dragon/History Crossover, it felt appropriate.