1/18/2022

1/18/2022

Years have passed

You’ve gotten to make vows and replace a girls’ last name with your own

The same girl you told me not to worry about

The same girl you told me that I was crazy to think you wanted

The same girl you told, that you couldn’t wait to spend every night for the rest of your lives sleeping next to

Even though I was nuzzled in your arms and under your sheets

Even though those very thoughts you had for her - I had for you…

When I had read that

When everything was said and done, it never was… done

It still isn’t

I didn’t just have to grieve a relationship

I grieved a future that would never be

I grieved children we spoke of raising

I grieved a lifetime

I grieved the person I was before you- a person that still believed in the good

A person that believed in second chances

Because I can never be that person again

That person got me hurt

That person got me heartbroken

That person got me to a point where I had to look in the mirror and change the person I saw

And that person was the worst

Of all the terrible and atrocious things that I’ve endured

The times on the couch I couldn’t wait to get over with -

The time I was sore, saw them zip their pants and it made sense.

The time I made everyone I cared for watch me unravel and make the worst decisions

You

You are the worst things I’ve had to endure

So I hope you get what you deserve - whatever it may be