This is My Life

Hello everyone. For those who have never met me, my name is Peach and I’m a real handsome fellow. Don’t you agree?

I also love a chat. Being half Maine Coon, I talk and talk and talk. We could have some great conversations, if I let you get a word in edgeways. I do like the sound of my own voice.

I was born on 15 October 2010 and adopted by my mum and dad hoomans when I was just a little boy — although seriously, I was never really little as such!

I only had my adoptive parents for about two and a half years and it wasn’t an easy life for a cat. Mum and Dad didn’t like hair on their sofas or carpets so I was restricted to where I could roam in our house — but I was loved and it was home.

Then suddenly my mum disappeared and I never saw her again. It wasn’t long after that, that Dad started packing up our home and putting everything into boxes. It sure was a confusing time and I didn’t understand what was happening.

I watched as Dad loaded everything into a motor vehicle of some sort and then watched as he drove away. I waited patiently but he never returned.

I began to get hungry and thirsty but no one was bringing me dinner. It was then that I realised I was on my own. Everyone I knew had up and vanished.

Time to take matters into my own hands and I headed off to explore the neighbourhood for the very first time. It was a sad but also exciting time as I got to see sights I didn’t know existed, smell scents that were a curiosity to my nose and I was able to put my natural instincts into play and hunt for my own dinner.

Oh, the delightful meals I got to experience for the first time. Lots of mice, rats, lizards, and my favourite, possum. It was hard work but extremely satisfying and I didn’t go hungry.

I soon made that neighbourhood my bitch and staked out my territory. I roamed through all the hoomans yards and even made some of them my friends. It got so that when I visited, some of my hooman friends would feed me and pet me, so I’d stay awhile before heading off again.

I found this one house, where a lady lived with her adult son. This house soon became a favourite of mine and I would visit them regularly. They gave me delicious treats and listened to me talk, lots of pets and lots of love. I would visit them about once a fortnight and at first, I’d stay an hour or so but they had this area under the house, with comfy boxes, where I could nap away and not have to keep guard.

See, living on the streets is tough and although I was king of my territory, there were always some tough street cat that would be waiting for me to let down my guard. It sure made sleeping tough because I’d have to basically sleep with one eye open.

So, finding a safe haven, where I knew I was safe, to sleep was a luxury not known to many on the streets.

It was soon a routine that I enjoyed. Once a fortnight I’d visit my favourite hoomans house and after some love and good conversation, I’d head under the house to nap the hours away. It soon became so I’d stay the entire day, only heading off once the sun started to go down.

My favourite hoomans and I continued to live in this manner for about a year, when I decided that I wanted to make these two hoomans my slaves forever more.

I moved into their house and let them smooch me, feed me and talked their heads off. I made them my new mum and dad. They seemed happy with the idea as they bought me toys and delicious treats, convinced me that sleeping on the carpet or sofas was not only okay, but welcomed. It really was a little slice of heaven.

Of course, I purred loudly to let them know they were doing everything right and I played when they wanted to.

I loved all the attention and wanted to repay their kindness. I soon realised that these two hoomans weren’t very good at hunting, so I decided to take on that role for them. At night, while they were sleeping, I’d head off to hunt them breakfast. I’d find a nice big juicy rat, carry it in my mouth and head home, all the while meowing loudly so Mum and Dad would hear me coming.

It wasn’t easy getting into the house at night because my hoomans would lock everything up before they went to bed, but Dad would leave one window open. As it was on the second floor, I had to climb the stairs, jump over to the window awning, carefully walk a thin beam, then jump onto the windowsill, all the while holding this big-arse rat in my mouth and loudly meowing.

Once on the windowsill I would stand, making a lot of noise, holding the rat in my mouth, and look down on my Dad while he was sleeping. When he wouldn’t wake, I would gracefully drop the rat on his head so he could appreciate all my hard work.

I don’t think Dad liked my choice of meals because it wasn’t long before I noticed that when I climbed the stairs, walked the fine beam, ready to jump onto the window sill, I’d find the window mysteriously closed. That was strange and only seemed to happen when I was bringing Dad his food. Any other time the window was always open. Weird right?

I loved my life with Mum and Dad. I would spend all day with them and then at night I’d go on little adventures. I would always make sure I was back by the time they woke up and a lot of nights I would sleep under the rosemary bush out the front. This way I’d guard the house while my hoomans slept.

On the nights when my Dad was out doing I don’t know what and Mum was home alone, I would not go on my nightly adventures and would stay with Mum to keep her company instead. When Dad come home, I’d head out to the rosemary bush to start my guard duty. I liked knowing I was protecting my slaves, because we all know if something happened to them, I’d be back on the street and that sure is a tough life.

Then much to my dismay my Mum and Dad started packing up everything into boxes and this made me very anxious. While they were doing this, I became very vocal and never went on any adventures. I didn’t let my hoomans out of my sight.

However, it all turned out well and when my hoomans left that neighbourhood, they took me with them. All was well in my world.

I loved my life and I knew I was a pampered pooch, but I still did my bit. I hunted for their food, delightfully bringing them little gifts and I continued my guard duty at night.

Until, one terrible night I’ll never forget. It was an ordinary night with me off on a hunting adventure, when I crossed this big, big, big road. It took me awhile to get across that sucker, but I managed and explored territory that I’d never been in before. It was all fun and games and I lost track of time. I started my journey home after the sun had risen, and when I arrived back at that big, big, big road, it had suddenly become very busy with lots of motor vehicles going back and forward. Too many for me to dodge if I was to cross the road.

So I put my problem solving skills to work. Did I mention that not only am I a handsome devil, but I’m also very clever and problem solving is my forte.

In this instance, I decided the best thing to do was go around this big, big, big road. I walked and walked along the side of that road but it never seemed to get any smaller and there was nowhere for me to cross. If anything it got busier and busier.

Horribly tired and hungry, I asked a strange hooman for help. Somehow I’d walked six kilometres from my home and I didn’t know how to get back. This hooman put me in a motor vehicle and drove me to this strange place. They put me in a tiny cage and left me there, day after day.

I cried and cried because I didn’t like being locked up, I missed my Mum and Dad and my home. I also knew they would be missing me and sure enough they were devastated that I didn’t come home. My Dad walked the streets of our neighbourhood calling my name and trying to find me — I didn’t know this at the time of course.

Much to my delight, after two weeks locked in that tiny cage, my Mum turned up to rescue me. I was never so happy as the day I looked up from my cage to see my Mum standing there.

At first, they wouldn’t let Mum take me home as she needed to prove I was her cat. My microchip showed my original mum as the owner. The people who worked at this place rang my old Mum but she said she’d left me with her ex partner when they split up.

After another few days, they finally agreed I could go home and Dad come to pick me up.

While everyone was happy to be reunited, especially me because I hated that small cage, my Mum and Dad was spooked by the whole experience and it was that day that the fateful decision to make me a full time indoor cat was made.

I fought this for the first few weeks as I was used to my freedom but I eventually gave in as it was much better having the run of the house than be locked in a tiny cage twenty four hours a day.

This decision became even more set in stone when I began to have a problem with one of my eyes, eventually causing the eye to be removed. No hope of ever getting Mum or Dad to let me free roam from that day on!

Being a full time indoor cat soon became the new norm and even though I was not totally happy, it was still a good life and we have lived reasonably happy in this manner for the last four years, until recently.

About a week ago, my Mum put me in this strange vest thing, attached a lead and took me outside on an adventure. I wasn’t totally free like the old days but I was outside. I got to feel the sun again, taste the grass and luxuriate in rolling around in joy, smell the different scents around the neighbourhood and stretch my legs. It was sheer bliss.

I kicked up a real fuss when Mum took me back inside and although she takes me out on an adventure twice a day since that first day, it’s never enough now I’ve tasted a little freedom again. Now I pester Mum for hours on end trying to talk her into letting me out. I even put my problem solving skills to the test and try to find a way to escape on my own.

In fact I’ve become such a pest to my Mum that she’s beginning to wonder if she has created a monster!

Here is Mum’s poem describing how I’m testing her to her limits.

Mum’s confident I’ll eventually settle down once I realise these adventures are a forever thing but I’m not so sure that I’ll ever stop asking for just a little bit more.

These two special hoomans are meant to be my slaves after all, so shouldn’t I say how much time they spend taking me outside?

Please click the link below my name to read more of my work. I would also like to thank you for taking the time to read this today and for all your support.

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Please visit my website if you'd like more information on my newly published book, Battle Angel : The Ultimate She Warrior.

Originally published on Medium