The Solace in Our Silence

During one of the many tumultuous patches that punctuated my last relationship, I was faced with a loathsome ultimatum. That snake of a man had the audacity to say I could choose to rehome you, or get up, move out- and move on. In a flash of clarity, I knew the relationship had to be ended immediately; and this time, permanently. I could not abide by such callous human ignorance.

Nobody who truly knows me would deny me the comfort you’d so willingly provide. My decision was swift and resolute. I’d no longer settle for being chained to his ideals, or anyone else’s, for that matter. Roses need their own trellis to climb and grow. I needed my own life.

This wasn’t our first split, but would turn out to be the last. Regarding your impossibly soft baby fur, tucked tightly, safely in my arms, I knew you were worth the upheaval- and so was I. Needless to say, we were taking your first ferry ride to the mainland forthwith.

You were born bilaterally deaf. Not an uncommon genetic abnormality in white dogs. That made you unsaleable product to the prestigious breeders from whence you came.

It was only you who caught my attention. The atypical puppy behavior you displayed set you apart from your frolicsome littermates. While they boisterously jumped, yipped, nipped and practically did somersaults, playing in groups, you walked the fenceline of the yard alone, collecting olfactory clues, 3 fluffy pounds of lone wolf.

I had visited your breeder ready to spend $1,500 for my perfect puppy. Upon declaring I’d made my choice, and my choice was you, the breeder shook her head. “That one isn’t for sale.” Her words were resonant with reticence. “Already spoken for?” I queried. Sighing with a slow head shake, her gaze focused itself on the puppy pen. It was obviously bothering her to have this conversation. “She was born deaf. As registered AKC breeders, we cannot accept monetary compensation for a defective puppy.” What nerve, to label a baby defective!

I don’t fault her for adhering to professional practices. I’m actually quite glad she did. Solidly sticking to my decision, I declared I must have you. It benefit them to be rid of you quickly. An accidental stain on the pomp of your pedigree. I could relate to that. Thusly, you were bequeathed to me.

Unbeknownst to you, dear friend, our fated bond was a skeleton key. It opened the door to my freedom, and yours.

The day we left the island behind us for good, I had ended a toxic relationship, saved $1500, and gained an inimitable cohort. My daintily fierce mute muse. My mum ankle-biter of love. My forever friend.

Vibration was a discernable and learnable method of communication for you. We built our own language devoid of the boundaries common to interspecies communication. Our conversations were textural, gesticular, inaudible- yet fuller than most that are held verbally.

We supported and kept each other safe in ways only we could comprehend. Our eyes knew each other like the sun knows the moon. I was blessed with your dedication and loyalty for many priceless years. Sweet, alabaster angel. You’ve since passed peacefully into the ethereal.

I know in my heart, you now run free from all that ties or binds, except for love. Somewhere warm and inviting, you eagerly await my arrival. The moment creeps ever closer as the clock ticks, when you will finally hear me call your name. You will sprint into these welcoming, wide open arms, and slather me zealously with kisses. We’ll return to our place of freedom, our safe space of solace- now and for eternity- our bond unbounded.