Siya Loves You

Work had been hectic that week so I was looking forward to the weekend. It was Friday morning and there were fires starting in my inbox left and right! Out of the corner of my ear I hear my phone vibrate a couple of times. I check it immediately because I will take any distraction to take me away from those stressful emails. It is a text, a link to a picture of a dog at a shelter. I opened the link and for the first time in my life, I saw her. She had the most beautiful eyes that I had ever seen. They were hazel brown, the biggest eyes you will ever have seen. Pretty golden freckles cover her face and a gold streak stretches from head to tail. She has a curious look on her face as if to say, “Where is my home?”

“Who are all of these people?”, she must have been thinking. They had to carry her out of her kennel since she would not approach anyone herself. She was set down gently by the shelter employee. She had her tail tucked between her hind legs and walked with her head down, which has become the signature “Siya walk”. I believe that the way she walks is the way she gets to observing. She could think it is the most discrete, possibly. I am no dog scientist, or cynologist. I know only Siya's behaviour and my interpretation of it. We were in what reminded me of one of those multipurpose rooms. The floors were shiny and squeaky and there were high ceilings. This enormous room could have also been playing into Siya’s anxiety. She must have been used to the kennel. There was an enclosed area where they would let the animals go so we could visit with them. Siya ran straight for the only chair that was at the center of the enclosure, plopped herself under it and looked away from everyone. She probably thought that if we were not in her eye sight, we couldn't see her either. This also told me that she was terrified of new human beings or new situations. She looked in complete distress. Shivering from the tip of her snout to the end of her tail. What could she have gone through in her past? Poor little thing.

I can remember the feeling I had after looking at Siya online. Her name was Lucy before. Cute name, cute picture and the feeling of “this is my dog”. The feeling consisted of care and unconditional love. My heart was ready to pour out to her so that Lucy, now Siya, can experience her most happy life. It has to be something parental, right? I’m not a parent yet but there is some instinct. Those big sparkling round eyes saying “I need to be nurtured, nurture me!” If you know exactly why, please do tell. Since I am no professional in dog psychology, my imagination provides an alternative answer to this need to nurture. The wonderful story my imagination has curated is that what if Siya is me from another life and I feel I must nurture myself(Siya) in this life? That is way out there in the realm of science fiction, but it is not far from dull. Humans have been known to pass on stories with lessons rather than exact reality. My imagination continues that maybe Siya(me) was placed in my life so I can learn to take care of myself, in taking care of her. She was gifted to me by the cosmos. I am so thankful that we reacted so quickly and headed to the shelter that morning to get Siya. Have you ever felt a connection like that with a family pet? It certainly is some kind of mystical sitting in this realm of reality, while being simply explained away by science. Of course there is a release of oxytocin when you are petting or cuddling with your pet. Which is mutually beneficial, but is there more to this than science can comprehend? Only time will tell but it also doesn't hurt to imagine the possibilities once in a while. What does that heart of yours say?

I got down to her level. The first thing that came to my mind was that she must be scared of all of these big and tall humans. Imagine if your eye level was only two feet off the floor and you had to look up at something that is quadruple your size. That is terrifying. Even more so due to her possibly being able to smell that each human is different and so each human can be a new enemy. She seemed to have trust for no new human, sadly. “What have you been through sweet angel?”, I thought. She sat at our legs, with her tail tucked between hers. No sign of being comforted by anyone or anything. I felt sad because she was completely ignoring me. I understood why, but I believed that if this is the way she will be behaving, she must not want to go home with me. I felt hurt, I wanted to take her home and show her how wonderful an experience this Earth can be. We stayed for a while with her, must have been around an hour. We talked and came to an agreement that Siya would be coming home with us. We felt the responsibility of giving love, and giving care to this beautiful but traumatized dog. We felt that we were patient, understanding, and loving enough. It also helped that we had a great sister for her that could comfort her even more. I carried Siya everywhere for the first week. She would not move from the corner of the living room. It is where she felt most safe. Luckily she would allow me to pick her up gently without struggle. She grew to trust me as her human. The more love and care I show her, the more she is trusting of me. Now we are inseparable.

We named her Siya, not after the american singer. “Siya” means “I Love You” in Mazahuan, a native language in Mexico. I believed it would be a great idea to name her Siya, because every time anyone says her name, they are saying, “I Love You”, to Siya and out loud for the world to hear. In return, Siya will love you back and the world could bring you love in return. She has unconditional love for all. That is all I see in her. Even with all of her anxiety, she loves you, just please don’t walk at her. It is better to ignore her until she approaches you. I use the term, “Siya” instead of “See yah”. This way I am saying, “I Love You”, to all, even though they do not know it. It doesn’t hurt to spread some love, right? When you meet Siya, you will know that it is true. You will receive her loving boop from her sweet moist nose, and you will feel love. If you don’t feel it, Siya could believe that you might not have a heart and should get that checked out, immediately.

Siya has been with me for a little over a year now. She is no longer walking everywhere with her tail between her legs. Today, you will see a confident walking dog with a wagging tail on a hiking trail. Nature is Siya’s home and she reveals her true personality outside as if she were in the wild. You know the dirt looks exquisitely comfortable when Siya does a front somersault and rolls in the dirt. She will do this immediately after having been bathed the day before. She prefers hiking on a trail than any park in the city or anywhere. You might still catch her with her tail between her legs if there are any strangers around. There is still so much growing to be done by Siya. She is absolutely scared of everything conceivable to her by her beautiful eyes. Even the noises her footsteps make when she walks on a hard surface. What could be going through her mind? Maybe, “What is this clipity-clap that sounds like it is going to eat me always right under me!?” I guess she can’t comprehend where the noises are actually coming from since she has not seen, for herself, what the action causing it looks like. Or maybe it is because she used to get in trouble for making any noise before she was sent to the shelter, and she is still reacting to her memories of the past. When do you react to memories of your past? I always want to remind Siya to come back to the present and see that she is in a good, safe place, where no one is going to hurt her. It is a good reminder for me, whenever I am beginning to enter an anxious state due to an event, my environment, or even just a thought(memory). Siya is always that reminder of love over hate and courage over fear.

I believe it would be a great idea if everyone was paired with a pet of their choosing at some point, so that everyone can experience the love and growth they have to offer us. They can serve as our reflections, and will in turn serve us lessons to grow from. The truth is we are not paired up, we choose to adopt or buy. Preferably adopt and that is because every single one of these living beautiful animals deserves love and care. You will be surprised by the loving relationship that can flourish out of adopting your furry child. You might also get some exciting moments that don’t exactly go the way you planned them because of them. Either way, I am certain you will make loving memories when you choose to adopt.

Siya says, “Love and peace!” That is mostly all she says. It sounds like, “Woof wof wooof.”