Roxi Girl - My Girl

"Grief is like the ocean, it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overflowing. All we can do is learn to swim." - Vicki Harriosn -

Roxi, was my morning coffee companion, she was my calm when things felt overwhelming, my nightly snuggle, and my bestest girl. Roxi held down the couch in my office for nine years as we worked together with clients trying to heal thier broken hearts. She was never afraid to get dirty on the farm, either, helping her dad. If the sun was out, her favorite spot of all time was underneath it.

I was gifted my girl on a Mother's Day. She came to us from a couple of kids needing to pay thier monthly rent.They were devastaed but knew they couldnt care for her in the long run. It only took us one glance to know we'd be her protectors and she would forever have our hearts.

Roxi grew up next to five human children. She loved those little humans, with her entire being. It never really seemed like she had a favorite. If the oldest was sleeping in his bed she would happlily lay by his side. If the girls were painting nails and dressing up she too would be endulging. When her younger two humans would be out digging in the dirt you bet-chaya she'd be rolling in dirt piles.

One of her many favorite activites was that of camping. As soon as Dad pulled the camper out front she wanted to sit in it and watch us load. Always making certain that she wouldn't be left behind; as if we could leave her behind. When we would arrive to the campgrounds she patiently waited for us to set up her camping chair next to the fire, she so loved being cozy. Also, the food by the fire was a double sometimes triple bonus.

My God, I miss her. Not ever would she hurt a fly, though this one time she really took me by surprise. We went out for a walk her and I, along the way we stopped at a park bench to watch the water and people pass us by. A man approached us and my intuition started taking notice. Roxi, shot up onto her feet and for the first time ever I seen her alarmed and focused. Bearing her teeth, growling, and barking, she started sending him a very clear message. He apologized, turned around, and walked away. I have never forgot about her loyalty to me.

June 4, 2020, we layed our Roxi to rest under a pretty tree. The tree sits beside our little garden pond and I just know that she would love it. When I go out to sit, I think of her, and I can feel her next to me.

MISSING YOU

Today I woke up and I thought of you.

I wanted more than anything to take you outside to play.

I sure am missing you.

I curled up where it was, you used to lay.

Right under the sun, soaking up all of those happy rays

and

I waited for the sounds that you used to make.

I sure do miss you!

Right below my foot lays your most beloved toy.

Do you remember? You got it on a Christmas Day.

It seemed for a while, it brought you the greatest joy.

Geez, Rox, I sure do miss you.

I really hope that you won’t mind that I gave it to the new boy.

He is not your replacement but he’s here to stay.

He fills us with laughter and chases some of these blues away.

Please, I pray that you won’t think for one-second your memories lay somewhere hidden away.

It is you Roxi that I think of every single day.

When your name is spoken it is a whisper straight to mommy’s heart that reminds me that we really are not that far apart.

I sure do miss you!

I stand up from where you used to lay.

I walk over to the spot for eternity you now will remain.

Damnit…

I miss you!

I remember a time when I used to pray that you would fall fast asleep and just go home to stay.

You were always so sick, it seemed.

It was so hard watching you turn old, frail, and grey.

Sometimes I was so angry Rox, watching your body fail you and wither away.

My God, I have missed you over a year today.

You now lay beneath this beautiful tree, giving back to the earth, you would have never wanted it any other way.

Ahh, I miss you…

I know we will be together again one day.

When you see mommy’s tears from afar, know its not from any take backs or any regrets.

These tears are from the days spent here without you and all the memories we left unmet.

Roxi Girl…

Mommy’s Girl…

Do you Remember?

You were my gift on Mother’s Day.

I miss you!