Requiem

The man sank into his chair. His home seemed empty, like the feeling of your pocket before you realize you have forgotten your cell phone. Two months had passed already, yet at the most random of times, his chest would tighten, and he would find himself scrolling through pictures.

He had been writing in his journal that day, when those longing eyes seemed to be attempting to tell him something. He still blamed himself for not being able to see the truth that lay beyond those deep, trusting wells of black. How could he not have known? Perhaps even then, he had been in denial.

For the first time since then, he picked up that small black notebook which he had so avoided. And he wrote.

"It was a hot summer day ten years ago when we first saw you--my sister, mother and I. You were a ragged thing, reminiscent of the Ewoks in Star Wars. Your previous owners had fallen upon hard straits, and though they loved you, you had been neglected. Your fur was long and moppy, your eyes barely visible behind those greasy strings of white and brown. You appeared as one who doesn't know what a bath is. Yet you were the happiest of spirits, joyful to no end, and we fell in love with you.

"We named you Happy, and in every way, you were fitting of that name. When I was happy, you were happier several times over; when I was sad, you cuddled against me protectively, and your little twelve pound shield saved me more times than you know. In the turbulent years of my adolescence, you were my calm amidst the storm, letting me know that wherever I was, your companionship and love would meet me there, unhesitating.

"You were sickly when we first brought you, and we kid that you were a lump of money that had fallen into our laps as procedure after procedure was necessary to heal you of your hurts. And though we joked, we saw you grow stronger, and life filled you not only in spirit, but in the strength of your movements as well. You were the comfort after a long day at school, the source of laughter and joy in a tired household. Through my sleepless nights of work, you were there with me, always by my side. You were such a small thing, to be shining so brightly, for so many years.

"I still remember when you were first diagnosed with what would be your greatest foe, the shadow that tried to snuff out the light that you were. Maybe you had shone extra brightly to make up for the sadness around you, and though your heart was strong, your body was too small. For two years you fought bravely. Though the treatments and medications made your physical form smaller and weaker, you blazed ever brighter than before, as if determined not to succumb. Even in the midst of your sickness, you seemed to be even happier than before, and my greatest memories of laughter with you were made during these years.

"On that last day, your body was too weak to move. Yet to the last you watched us with loving concern in your eyes, as if you were more worried about what we would do when you were gone, and only when the last of the family members had returned from work to say goodbye did you finally enter your long sleep. Even in your going, you were calm and peaceful.

"They say that the average dog costs $15,000 to care for throughout its life. You were so loving that it took a toll on your body, I think, and we went to the hospital together many times. So maybe you cost a little more than that. We now say fondly that because you were so much more loveable than most dogs, it was only fitting that you cost more to care for; that you were a bundle of $20,000 that fell into our lives unexpectedly one day--$20,000 to be spent. But in exchange, we obtained the priceless gifts of the years of laughter-inducing antics, safe companionship and warm memories you have left us with. They say humans betray, but dogs never will, and now I know why any saying ever invented about the loving loyalty of dogs was uttered through the lips of humans all throughout time.

"Several months later, I still lay down at night, missing the sound of your soft snores next to me. And many times I think how foolish it was that we thought we had saved you by adopting you. Because looking back at the past, at those turbulent years where you were the beacon providing comfort to the whole of our family, I now realize. Who saved whom?

"So rest easy, baby boy. The healing you gave us reverberate even to this day. Fly high, and I love you forever."

The man set his pencil down and blinked. The sorrow was still there. But now the small light of a candle was lit inside of him.