My Sweet, Fur-ocious Boy

I was three months pregnant with my daughter when my partner and I came across my furbaby in a Walmart parking lot.

An old lady had the last puppy and said everyone took the rest of the litter. He had a sad puppy look to him; however, he was excited to see us from observing his wagging tail. I wanted to pet him only, but my significant other insisted we bring him home to raise him as our protector since he was going away for work many weeks at a time. The idea of saving the puppy was also grateful. We quickly took him with us and brought him inside Walmart to shop for dog supplies.

My furbaby boy's name is Lander, my partner named him. He was eight weeks when we brought him home. Lander responds to his name fast, and he was a quick learner. He was a little monster for tearing up every toy that has given to him; Lander was expensive! His food was special-made ordered through Ollie (myollie.com). The dog meals were healthy, and they never made his stomach upset. His poops were even clean as well as his farts were tolerable. We also gave him all his puppy vaccinations. We wanted him to be healthy and strong for our little family to become.

When my significant other was away, Lander kept me busy. I made sure he was house trained, fed, bathe, and I constantly attended to his needs. I felt great that I was giving him a family, a home. I grew to love him more and more each day. There were times I woke up in the middle of the night to feel his warm furry body laying on my head or my neck. Sometimes, I would feel him shiver and his warm breath against my skin.

I would have thought I was the one that saved him, but it turned out that he had saved me countless of times. When I needed emotional support, he jumped to comfort me in every way he could with his kisses and nudges his head to my hands to pet him. He was there for me on all of my quarreling with my partner. Lander would come to sit in front of me and he always made sure I was calm. I would feel guilty or upset that he may sensed our negative energy exchanges. Sometimes, I believe that Lander deserves more. He deserves a big yard to roam around. He deserves better people to cuddle up to and attend to his every need. He had came with me when I left my partner to get some space. He was there for me throughout my pregnancy. All of my ups and downs, Lander has seen everything with his entire life.

One event that I wished I could take it away from him was when my partner and I had a heated argument. He was at the wrong place, at the wrong time. My boy was tasered by three police officers when they showed up. He was happy barking and tail wagging when the officer showed up at the door. Lander is a high-energy dog so he likes to jump but he did not jump at them. I thought my boy was dead after three shots. I was hyperventilating, my anxiety shot up, and I felt numb. I screamed and felt my soul jumped out of my body. The presence of cold sensation and dizziness was felt. He did not deserve that, he did nothing wrong. To story short, I was able to get an attorney and their body cams. The DA was not happy with how the officers handled the situation and especially shooting at my dog with my baby present. They dismissed everything. I was still very angry because they still did not take away my dog's PTSD. They did not offer classes to help heal him. I was advised by friends and family to rehome him because my home and I can be a trigger to his trauma and anxiety. I was devastated and I did not want to give him up. Was I selfish to think I could help him? I felt like only I could help him. I want to believe in healing him by myself even if it takes years because the echoes of my friends and family saying that he won't change was causing me anxiety. I just know that his PTSD had made him a different dog. I do not think anyone else would understand him as I do. I do not feel that anyone would be able to handle him when he is in distress or his anxiety acts up. His guards up with people and he has been barking consistently. He barks at everything, noises, men, and moving objects. Times where he barks all night. This part of him, I had to adapt to work around it and make sure he doesn't harm anyone. Thank God, no one calls to complain about him. I had to defuse his anxiety by avoiding walking near people. I have to keep a leash on him at all times. I have to make sure that when he gets let out is during the time when there aren't many people outside either. It was like raising a puppy all over again and getting to know their persona and trying to correct them. Soon, I was able to distract him from getting anxious. I found what he loves most and that is fetching frisbee. He was night and day! I knew this big improvement would occur because I had faith that there can be ways to help him with his condition. I found this out one day, a little girl came running out of a nearby parking lot to play with us. I was honestly scared because I did not know how my dog would react to her running at us and if he was going to bark at her. But right away, I threw the frisbee in the air and tell the girl to wait. I handed the frisbee to her and she threw it at him. He was in his little world and started dropping his frisbee for her to throw. That's when I felt confirmed that he would not hurt anyone if they showed up around his playtime. Ever since then, my anxiety isn't as bad when if his frisbee is present. I was able to have people visit our home again. His frisbee is his medicine!

I love him from the beginning of when his little body was on my neck to after he was almost damaged. However, I refused to let that event handicapped how beautiful my baby has become. I also want to show that even if that event has happened to him, he is more loved than ever before. Nothing changes the way I raised him or my love for him. He is a very special boy and super smart. Sometimes, I feel like he is a human because he understands what I tell him. I would name all his toys and he knew which toy to find when I asked by their names. I also have done obstacle courses for him because he is hyperactive and I also want to see how far he would go for a reward. He does not give up and he is always rewarded.

My partner and I had worked things out and made things better. We want to build a healthier environment. We knew that our babies can be affected by our energy and actions. We knew that our behaviors are selfish and as humans, we learned and we become better versions of ourselves. Not just for us, but for our little ones and their future.

There is a saying, “To the world you may be one person; but to one person you may be the world.” ― Dr. Seuss. Now, if you replace the second "person" with "dog," it goes like this “To the world, you may be one person; but to one dog you may be the world.” I think our animals view us as their world, we are the only thing that feels home. We are their voice! I've cried thinking that many times because we must advocate for them when others don't understand them or their situation. We are supposed to be their protector, their parent. I just know that my boy is the most precious dog I have ever held in my arms and I cannot wait for him to continue living in this world we give him.

Today, we have a bigger home, a little patio, and a nearby park that we play frisbee with him. After relocating, I have noticed another bigger improvement. He does not bark as often as he used to when we lived in our previous home that the traumatic event took place. He is able to live like the dog I imagined him to be when he's healing. I know he's not fully healed but seeing the improvements is a huge success.

Lander, my boy, is an amazing sibling to my baby girl. Not once he has ever scratched her with his paws. When she cries, he would go up to her and kiss her tears off her face. He takes naps with her often. My baby girl also has begun to play fetch with him. As a stay-at-home mother, he does help make my day better when I'm starting to feel stressed. His sad little faces are much more smiling than ever! He still have his puppy sad look but it does not take away the loving dog he is before and who he's become today. Anyone who has met him, he loves on them with his entirety.