Max, my angel on earth

I remember that day as if it was yesterday. It was raining in Bourgoin-Jallieu, a crappy little town, with a huge crappy vibe. On that day, anything would have felt horrible anyway, because I was dying inside... Not literally, of course, but I was experiencing so much doubt, I was lost, desperate, and lonely. I was feeling this very intensely within my heart. I didn't know what to do with my life anymore. You know? Yes, one of these moments...

I was staying with my mom for a while, in between two trips, and as much as I love her... Well! Every single one of you knows, I'm sure, what it's like to stay with your mom once you're a grown-up, don't you?

I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore, I was sitting on her grey couch, my knees against my chest, trying to comfort myself. But as I was doing so, tears were running down my cheeks in complete abandonment. I was losing strength and courage, my Spirit seemed so far from me, that I couldn't reach its light and wisdom. My heart's loneliness was suffocating.

At that moment of utter despair, my mom's dog walked in the room and came around to sit on the other side of the couch. You have to imagine a little chihuahua, with its tail erect, balancing its little body from right to left. Such a different energy compared to how paralysed I felt, that it captivated my attention for a minute. At that moment, he was the only being around me. The only being I could somehow reach out to, to get the support, comfort and warmth I needed. The despair was real my friend! And so I said, without much conviction: "Give me a hug, Max..." half choking on it, not really expecting anything...

You have to understand that I had always disliked dogs. My whole childhood was crowded with independent cats. So dogs always felt a bit "too much" with their constant codependent energy, tendencies and needs. They were giving me the creeps.

But in that moment, everything changed forever. And that is why it’s engraved in my memory.

"Give me a hug, Max..." Max looked at me, and immediately, in response to this supplication, stood up, came to me and rubbed his head against my leg a few times before lying down against my side, his little head on my lap.

My heart burst with love. My tears stopped out of astonishment. I knew he was an angel on earth, here to love us unconditionally and so very special. It changed my world and from that moment on, I have been attracting every single dog that crosses my path. It is as though they feel the love I have for them. They come to me looking for caresses and hugs that I am always dispensing generously.

But coming back to Max, the kindest dog on earth. A really strange backstory about Max is that I was the one who found him for my mom, quite randomly on “Le Bon Coin”, a french website where you can sell and buy pretty much everything. I remember talking to her about her previous dog who had died at a very young age and that she was still mourning. We were talking about what kind of dog would be best for her and we had come up with the idea of a chihuahua. I had felt a sudden impulse to look up on that website “just for fun” and had found Max within 5 minutes! My mom had a restricted budget and he was being sold at a cheaper price than what they’re usually worth. Max was a few weeks old only and was kept by a man who really wanted the company but didn’t know what to do with him and had decided it was best to find a good family for him. That’s how my mom got him within two days.

It was definitely meant to be. And that’s how our little angel changed my world, our world.