Little, Black Bear

Author's Note: The following is not a well-formatted or thought out poem. It is not flowing, rhyming, eloquent, or elegant. It is rough, scattered, unruly, and painful. One year ago my Liwu passed. He had cancer, and we had to let him go two days after the anniversary of my father's death. Now, in addition to my father, and my beautiful, perfect puppy, two days ago, I lost a very dear friend. The following poem is a clumsy attempt at vocalizing grief. It is more for myself than the reader, and it is also not a pleasant read. If this is something that would be too traumatic to read, please stop here. If you would like to know a little more about this beautiful and perfect little gift from above in canine form, click HERE to read all about him. He was and always will be the world's best dog. I love you my little Liwu (Mandarin for "gift).

The following song describes (to a much lesser degree) the feeling without my best friend. xx

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I still see him sitting up tall

As they brought him into the room

Pink gauze around his paw

Where they’d shaved his fur

His ears stood up high

And his sleepy eyes held open wide

As he saw his humans waiting

He sat up and smiled for us

Though his pain was so deep

Always strong for his people

Never concerned with himself

He sat still while we hugged him

Six arms wrapping tightly around him

Our tears falling onto his fur so black

His smiling eyes still holding our gaze

I cupped his tiny black nose in my palms

And kissed him the same way

I had a million times before

Always full of joy and love

For my beautiful, little black bear

He held my gaze, temple to temple

Staring into my soul as I stared back

The same way he always had in the past

When he sensed sadness within me

Always my purest source of joy

He brought me back from the depths

The moment I saw his fluffy guard hairs

A lifetime of despair eased in a moment

It never was all that fair to him

How much we depended upon his love

He gave and gave until he had no more

Until the day we had to let him go

It was the best thing for him

At least that’s what they say

It was a kindness we owed him

For all the years of unconditional love

Or so that’s what we pray is true

But nothing will ever erase that pain

Nothing will ever cause these doubts to stop

I loved him more than anything in this life

He was the most perfect gift from above

Every day without him is harsher and colder

Every moment with him was softer and warmer

And all those memories are so hard to recover

When I think of his droopy eyes and pointed ears

On the last day that I held his nose in my hands

His last breath warmed my shaking hands

And my tears fell upon his shining nose

He looked in my eyes for the last time

As his eyes closed and his pain stopped

The worst day of my life that I replay over and over

I can’t escape that pain no matter how long

A year passed in a moment

A lifetime passed in a breath

But when I think of him

I still see him standing up tall

I see his crooked smile and pointy black ears

He rested his forehead against mine

The way he had the first day

That he was gifted to me

My beautiful, little black bear

My perfect gift from above

He will always be with me

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