Here's to hoping that kindness will soften a heart of stone

My neighbor has called the police on my dogs' 'excessive barking' three times (that I know of) since we moved into our house just over a year ago. It has been an emotional ride.

I've cried, worried that she might just open the gate in our fence and let them out. I've been angry knowing that she has a dog that barks excessively (though it's only allowed outside for five minutes three times a day--trust me, I've tracked it). I've been discouraged knowing that I'm doing everything I can to stop their barking, but if they see a squirrel they bark, I'm not going to take away their way of communicating. I've been frustrated. I don't like when they bark either. I've resolved to the fact that my neighbor has the hearing of an elephant having been told by the owners of the house she lives in (this neighbor is the girlfriend of the son of the homeowners) that she had also called the police to complain about the garbage truck's breaks being too loud.

[Being fully transparent, my dogs do bark. I don't deny that. What I do deny is the complaint of dogs barking 'all day,' which I was told at 10:08 in the morning. They like to be outside and are sometimes out there for hours, which means they have time to track a few squirrels, say help to people walking by, or chase each other around our fenced-in yard. All things I have no control over and let's be honest, I don't want to discourage my dogs from having fun in our yard.]

So, when the owners of the house, who we LOVE and who LOVE our dogs went down to Florida I was in a panic about what would happen with them gone and not able to be a barrier between this neighbor and our dogs.

I didn't have to wait long to find out.

It took all of a few weeks for the animal control officer to stand on my front porch. I cried to this man, oh it was a day. I tried my best to explain the issues and the unreasonable requests that have come from their side of the fence. I explained that when this neighbor came over to ask that my dogs aren't let out early in the morning (what she considers 8:15 a.m. to be) because her boyfriend is sleeping that we no longer let them stay out longer than they need to do their business before 7:30 a.m. (what we consider to be a reasonable time for dogs to be outside living their best life).

The officer just told me he was communicating the complaint and offering education. He told me my dogs were adorable, which I mean, yeah I knew that, but I thanked him for the 'education' and had a small meltdown as soon as I closed the door.

When he left all I wanted to do was find every scrap of dog poop left behind by my pups and put it in their yard. Maybe even leave a pile on her car. But I realized with people like that, there's no winning. She's not playing fair, because in her war there are no rules. I would never be able to keep up the fight.

I was exhausted already. So, instead of retaliating with fire, I decided to shovel their sidewalk. As I mentioned the homeowners are snowbirds and their children (plus the girlfriend) have never taken the time to shovel their long strip of sidewalk that is used by a number of dog owners and (the crazy) people out for a run in -10 degree weather.

I decided to fight fire with kindness. This winter my husband and I have pulled on our winter coats and gloves, grabbed our shovels, and after finishing our long driveway and sidewalk we push forward and shovel their sidewalk too. On the days when the icy rain comes we head out and sprinkle salt down.

Not once has she come over to thank us for what should be their responsibility. But neither has another officer shown up on my front steps. Now, I'm not saying that this act of kindness has 'fixed' the issue, but it has allowed me a way to love my neighbor even when they have only tainted opinions of me. Maybe she has not seen it (the sidewalk is on the side of their house and they don't really go outside there much) but maybe she has and her heart had started to soften.

Maybe not. But what if?

What if from this act of kindness I got to see other people open up in kindness too? Which, guess what(?!) is exactly what is happening. While I was out shoveling their sidewalk a lady from across the street started pushing her snowblower over to where I was working. We chatted for a minute and I explained what I was doing (not about the cranky neighbor but how I wanted the sidewalk to be clean for people in our neighborhood) and she helped me clear off the rest of the sidewalk. Not only that, but I looked outside a few minutes later and saw her walking her snowblower down the otherside of the street far past her own house.

What an amazing thing to witness!

As the snow continues to fall I will continue to clear off the sidewalk of the people who hate my dogs. As spring comes I might bake some cookies for them or maybe some banana bread. Then over the summer extend an invitation to join us for s'mores in the firepit in our backyard. She might be prepared for battle, but I don't think my neighbor is prepared to fight kindness.

Because of this small act, I've decided my New Year's resolution is to show kindness to others, but especially to those who are unkind to me. Because maybe she's never had anyone be kind to her. Maybe she's always had to fight for things and never been given anything just because. I don't know. What I do know is I can control the way I respond to her unkind words and actions and that will have an even greater effect.

My shoveling and kind words might never result in anything. I may never see the fruit of my kindness, but deep down I know that someone will. Someday, at some point in her life, my neighbor with a heart of stone will show kindness to someone else and for that, it will be worth it.

So, is there someone in your life that you are currently fighting with fire? What do you think would happen if you began to fight with kindness instead?