Funny Things That Might Change Your Mind About Raising Chickens

A few years ago, I got the wild hair to start raising eggs. I had a lot of reasons why I wanted to. But I wasn't raised on a farm and I didn't have any chicken friends I could call for advice.

It took a few tries to successfully get a flock of chickens going - as it was quite a learning curve. But as I have gone through my fowl adventure, I've learned a few things that I thought would have been helpful in the process of making the decision of if I wanted to raise chickens.

So... I thought I would make an article that talks about some of the things you don't realize until you are a chicken parent. And they are in fact things that could be 'mind changers' and deal breakers on Chicken Parenting Choices!

Even A Clean Coop STINKS.

The smell of a chicken coop on a hot day. You never quite forget it. It's distinct. Much like passing a dairy farm in California during the summer. You just can't un-smell some things.

My "pregnancy" nose never went away guys. I've caught Covid TWICE now, and this sniffer won't be beaten.

So I clean their coop out every other day by spraying it down and out to get rid of the top layer of the poops. My chickens have comparatively clean feet. During the winter, I put hay and cedar in, to keep the ground from getting saturated during winterizing.

So the take on this: expect your water bill to increase if you are weird about disease and poop like I am, and you intend on raising chickens.

Jurassic Appetites And Thirsty Hoes

That water bill I JUST mentioned? Even if you don't clean out your coop every other day (every day during the summer), these chickens are THIRSTY. My flock of 14 hens, 2 ducks, and 3 roosters (Two of the roosters are separated by themselves because they are mean rescues whose therapy isn't going so well) go through about 5 gallons of water - a day, and that's just in their water troughs. I also keep a little pool out there for the ducks, which gets clean water at the same time I spray out the coop . I have 3 sources of water for them in their coop - and they are never dry. Dehydration for a chicken sets in at the speed of light, so water is vital.

And they eat like their species are still velociraptors running around in prehistoric times. They can eat twice their weight in food a day - and they require a stable nutritional output. They can't just be fed 'chicken feed' and stay healthy. They have protein needs and sometimes need help with their digestion.

I try and provide fresh greens and fruits to my chickens every other day, I feed them their eggshells, and they go through 3 gallons of feed every day.

Feeding and watering your birds are a pretty hefty investment of time and money.

So Loud. So Often. So... Much... CROWING

That saying: "When the rooster crows" should always be answered with: "Which crowing? The first? Second? Third? Or the seventh?"

Because my roosters start at 5:30 A.M. and crow their way off and on until about 7:30 A.M. They get into a contest, and crow until one of them gets bored and stops. Then they start at it again at about 11 A.M. Then again at 1:30 or 2 P.M. Every time they see me coming to them for feeding and snuggle time. Then again at 2:00 A.M sometimes.

This doesn't count for the ducks who go on a splashy swim rampage at 4:00 A.M. and their good morning quack session, or their happy quacks as I am filling their pool up with clean water.

Birds are LOUD. Okay? They WILL wake you up. They will throw tantrums and have you running to the coop to make sure they aren't being eaten at the weirdest of times - and most of the time they will be fine.

They Are ALL Sassy DIVA Princesses - Even The Roosters

Listen. I have to sing to my chickens at least ONE song while I'm in the coop with them or they get upset has NOTHING to do with me. I was experimenting on my traumatized roosters to see if singing could help soothe their aggression. The roosters will start crowing with me when I sing to them, and it does indeed make my big mean boy relax a little more as I reach into his personal coop to give him food. He's traumatized and has trust issues.

The hens? These birds have the audacity to come in front of me, show me their tails and fluff up, demand to be petted, then act INSULTED that I dared to touch their feathers when they are done getting their love. Walk away making those 'HOW DARE YOU" cluck noises.

I only hand-raised the ingrates in my tub for weeks until they were big enough to be safe outside in their coop, had my daughters help me name them, and took the time to deliberately handle and snuggle each of them every day.

I did not expect chickens to have personalities. People talk about them like they are just dumb protein. People say chickens are stupid. They are NOT, it is confirmed that is in fact, a lie. They are VERY intelligent. Capable of recognition AND familial affection for each other and the flock so long as they are under the correct circumstances.

And they are freaking HILARIOUS if you raise them correctly. From escape artists to offended snuggle-seekers, chickens are much more sentient than you realize.

The Size Of A GOOSE?

My black brahma? Her name is Onyx. And she is the size of a small goose.

I know I was under the impression that chickens were small. And some absolutely are! I have a sweet little easter egger named Felicia. And she's so dainty... and then here come Onyx, walking around like that bad bitch in charge and HUGE compared.

She's up past my kneecap in height.

So if you are intimidated by big birds - make sure you do your research on your breeds to make sure you don't wake up one day and you have a giant goose-chicken mutant in your coop.

And chickens grow very quickly. One day you have a little brood of fuzzy teeny cheep-cheeps, and then you wake up one day and you have teenage dwarf-looking baby chickens with grown-up feathers, sitting on the side of your bathtub staring at you while you poop.

Thank you Liberty and Serenity... We appreciate your continued interest in our bowel health. You will be joining your parents in the coop soon, you little feathered weirdos.

They Are Temperature Delicate

Winter stresses me out. Chickens are temperature-sensitive. Most birds are, though. Baby chickens can't handle temperatures colder than 90 degrees until about 6 weeks old. So the thought of a whole flock of chickens being frozen in the coop like a fucked up deep-freezer accident puts me on edge.

Oh, and don't forget if you don't have enough ventilation during the summer, you could accidentally roast and rotisserie your chickens where they sleep.

Making a home for them where they are adequately protected from the elements and preparing these protections by season is time-consuming and can be expensive. Heating lamps can't be avoided in areas where snow falls. And that extension cord spaghetti can be a nightmare. A more permanent (and more expensive) option is investing in solar energy or installing a power source directly in wherever you keep them.

Flocks Of Chickens Are A Hefty Investment

At the end of the day - You do not realize how much money you are going to have to spend if you decide to raise chickens. There's the coop, the roosts, their housing, their food, and the time you spend on these animals adds up to a second job.

Young hens don't start laying until they are mature either. This means that you aren't going to see a return on investment from these birds until anywhere between 4 to 8 months when they've started laying their eggs. Whether you are breeding them to sell chicks, or you are using them for eggs and meat, this isn't something you do to "make" money. In order for chickens to be profitable - you need a LOT of them and a wide consumer base.

So they are more of a self-sustaining investment. And you should understand that they should be treated with kindness, respect, and proper care. Only healthy happy chickens made happy eggs.

If there are any chicken parents who visit this article and have any more suggestions - please leave them in the comments!

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