Why I Stopped Waiting for Permission

I spent thirty-two years waiting for someone to tell me I was ready.

Ready to pursue my passion. Ready to take the leap. Ready to finally become the person I dreamed of being when no one was watching.

I waited for a sign, a green light, a tap on the shoulder from the universe saying, "Now. It's your turn now."

That permission never came. And one quiet Sunday morning, I finally understood why.

The Comfortable Cage

My life wasn't bad. That was the problem.

I had a decent job, supportive friends, and a routine that felt safe. But somewhere between paying bills and keeping everyone happy, I'd buried the dreams that used to keep me up at night.

I wanted to write. To create. To build something that mattered.

But every time I got close to starting, a voice whispered: Who do you think you are? You're not qualified. You don't have permission to want this.

So I waited. I told myself I'd begin when I had more time, more money, more confidence. When someone validated my dream and told me it was okay to chase it.

Years passed. The dreams didn't fade—they just grew heavier.

The Wake-Up Call

The shift came unexpectedly, during a conversation with my grandmother.

She was eighty-seven, sitting in her favorite chair, surrounded by photo albums she rarely opened anymore. I asked her if she had any regrets.

She smiled, but her eyes held something I'd never seen before: sadness mixed with wisdom.

"I always wanted to paint," she said quietly. "Really paint. Not just for fun, but seriously. I had talent, people said. But I kept waiting for the right time. For permission, I suppose."

She looked at me with an intensity that made my heart race.

"The right time never came, sweetheart. And now my hands shake too much to hold a brush."

I drove home in silence, her words echoing in my mind. That night, I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about all the dreams I'd shelved, all the "somedays" I'd promised myself.

I realized something terrifying: I was waiting for permission that would never arrive.

The Decision

The next morning, I did something radical.

I stopped asking for permission.

Not from my parents, who wanted me to stay safe. Not from friends who didn't understand. Not from the critical voice in my head that said I wasn't enough.

I opened my laptop and started writing. The first draft was terrible—awkward, clumsy, embarrassing. But it was mine.

For the first time in years, I felt alive.

The breakthrough wasn't about talent or timing. It was about finally giving myself permission to try, to fail, to be imperfect and still show up anyway.

What Changed

Stopping the wait didn't make everything easy. There were setbacks, rejections, moments when I questioned everything.

But something fundamental had shifted.

I was no longer paralyzed by the need for approval. I started measuring success differently—not by external validation, but by whether I was honoring the voice inside me that refused to stay quiet.

I published my first piece. Then another. Some resonated. Some didn't. But each one felt like reclaiming a part of myself I'd given away.

People noticed. Not everyone supported it, but the ones who mattered did. More importantly, I supported it.

For the first time, I was living my life instead of rehearsing for it.

The Truth About Permission

Here's what I learned: waiting for permission is just fear wearing a disguise.

We tell ourselves we need credentials, approval, the perfect moment. But what we really need is courage—the courage to believe our dreams matter even when no one else says they do.

No one is coming to give you permission to chase your passion, start that project, or become who you're meant to be.

You are the permission you've been waiting for.

Moving Forward

If you're reading this and feeling stuck, ask yourself: what would you do if you didn't need anyone's permission?

What dream would you chase? What version of yourself would you become?

The answer to that question is your starting point.

Stop waiting for the tap on the shoulder. Stop waiting for conditions to be perfect. Stop waiting for someone else to believe in you before you believe in yourself.

Your dreams don't need permission. They need action. And the only person who can give yourself that is you.

Start today. Your future self is counting on it.

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Thank you for reading...

Regards: Fazal Hadi