Why I Stopped Chasing Perfection and Found Freedom

For most of my life, I believed that perfection was the key to success and happiness. I thought if I could just get everything right, I would finally feel accomplished. But, over time, I realized that the endless pursuit of perfection was making me anxious, stressed, and ultimately unfulfilled. In this article, I want to share my personal story of letting go of perfectionism and how it led me to true freedom and happiness.

The Perfection Trap

I used to set incredibly high standards for myself, whether it was at work, in my relationships, or even in my hobbies. I was my own harshest critic, constantly finding fault in everything I did. If I made a mistake, no matter how small, it would linger in my mind for days, causing me to feel like I had failed.

At first, I thought this pressure would push me to achieve greatness. But instead, it held me back. As psychologist Brené Brown puts it, “Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame” (Brown, 2010). This quote perfectly captures the mindset I had—thinking perfection would protect me from criticism or failure.

The Toll on My Mental Health

Chasing perfection came at a cost. I found myself overthinking every decision, obsessing over details, and procrastinating on tasks out of fear of not doing them “perfectly.” This constant need to get everything just right led to anxiety and burnout. I was exhausted, but I didn’t know how to stop, What I didn’t realize was that perfectionism is often linked to fear—fear of failure, fear of being judged, and fear of not being enough. According to psychologist Dr. Paul Hewitt, perfectionism is a “dangerous epidemic,” as it pushes people to set unrealistic standards that can damage their mental health (Hewitt, Flett & Mikail, 2017). This was certainly true in my case.

The Turning Point

The moment I realized I needed to change was when I missed out on an important opportunity at work. I had spent so much time tweaking and revising a project to make it “perfect” that I missed the deadline altogether. This was a wake-up call for me. I began to see that my obsession with getting everything flawless was actually holding me back from success, not propelling me toward it.

I started to ask myself: What would happen if I didn’t get everything perfect? What if I embraced imperfection as a part of life?

Embracing Imperfection

Letting go of perfectionism wasn’t easy, but I began making small changes in my life. Instead of focusing on perfection, I shifted my mindset to focus on progress. I reminded myself that it was okay to make mistakes, and that failure was a natural part of learning.

As American author Anne Lamott wisely said, “Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life” (Lamott, 1994). By embracing this idea, I gave myself permission to be human and imperfect.

Finding freedom in Imperfection

Once I let go of the need to be perfect, I found a sense of freedom I had never experienced before. I became more productive, creative, and happier. I was no longer paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes. Instead, I took action, tried new things, and learned to appreciate the journey rather than the result.

I realized that imperfection makes us authentic, and authenticity is far more powerful than perfection. As author Elizabeth Gilbert explains, “Perfectionism is just fear in fancy shoes and a mink coat, pretending to be elegant when actually it’s just terrified” (Gilbert, 2015). By letting go of perfectionism, I let go of that fear.

Conclusion: Progress Over Perfection

Chasing perfection is exhausting and ultimately unattainable. The truth is, no one is perfect, and that’s what makes us human. By focusing on progress rather than perfection, I found more joy, freedom, and fulfillment in my life, If you’ve been trapped in the cycle of perfectionism, I encourage you to ask yourself: Is it really serving you? Or is it holding you back? Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s okay to be imperfect. As I’ve learned, that’s where true growth and happiness come from.

References:

Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection. Hazelden Publishing.

Hewitt, P., Flett, G., & Mikail, S. (2017). Perfectionism: A Relational Approach to Conceptualization, Assessment, and Treatment. Guilford Press.

Lamott, A. (1994). Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life. Anchor Books.

Gilbert, E. (2015). Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. Riverhead Books.