Why I left Hustle Culture

Survival skills are meant to be learned within the confines of Scout Troops and the Military. In America, for many children we learn them young and without ability to distinct the moments where we do not have to fight for our lives. I grew up in the American dream home, two floors, two adults in the home and three kids. I was in the middle, my sister who was emotionally younger than me was older than I and my brother was the youngest but as the glue that held the family from my mother to my stepfather, he was safer for most of his life. This story isn't about that but the abuse from an alcoholic stepfather is the first lesson I had to keep moving, keep my head low and never stop working because nothing is stable.

You must work harder.

Take on more.

You are the only one you can count on to survive.

I grew up, got my GED and joined the Army to get as far away from my life as I could. I went from one environment that depended on survival skills to another. In the TOC, you never stop moving, you do not make mistakes and you do not stop unless someone else can fully replace you.

The hustle mindset never had a break for me, a stopping point when I was able to slow down and trust anyone else to be there for me.

After the Army, I had a son who lives with Autism and Childhood Psychosis. I started my own marketing company and worked for some of the top companies and creators in the country if not the world. I was sleeping somewhere between two and three hours a night. I was overworking myself and my assistants because I did not understand how to stop. I hired a housekeeper and various nannies to help with my son.

Then one day in September of 2019 I went into the hospital because I felt pain in what I thought was my side. A doctor told me he wanted to get my head checked out simply because of a feeling that he had. We found out I had an unexplainable brain bleed. The only reason the doctors could find was that I was overworked.

I called one of my closest friends at the time, a fellow creator and I remember that he asked me to be quick because he had a million things to do. That was one thing we always had in common. I told him about the brain bleed, and he told me how that became a wakeup call for himself and the team I worked with for him.

I spent five days in that hospital. I know this is the part where you want me to tell you that I learned my lesson, slowed down and made more time for myself. I spent all five days in that hospital while the doctors ran tests working on my laptop. I did not know how to slow down, how to stop.

It took me almost a year to finally get to the point where I had enough, and I packed my bags and moved back to Texas. I started to lease an RV with my son. I cut my expenses down to a third of what they were, and I went back into writing full time. I don't make anywhere near what I used to.

I'm growing. I am healing. I am taking more time with my son and focusing more on the things in my life that bring me joy. I appreciate those who work like I used to. Hell, I root them on but as a single mom with a son who deals with his own mental challenges, it was not the path that I was meant to go down. It was simply the one that I forced upon myself.

So, here's to a new path.