Why I Forgave the Man Who Hurt Me
It wasn’t for him—it was for me
Why I Forgave the Man Who Hurt Me
Forgiveness is a word people love to throw around, especially when it’s not their pain on the line.
“Just move on.”
“Let it go.”
“Forgiveness is freedom.”
Those are easy words to say when you’re not the one holding the broken pieces.
For the longest time, I didn’t want to forgive him. I wanted him to feel the way I felt—lost, confused, betrayed. I wanted the universe to serve justice like some divine scale. I wanted his heart to break the way mine did.
But none of that ever happened.
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He walked away with barely a scratch, while I sat with wounds I couldn’t even name. Not physical ones, but the kind that live under your skin. Quiet scars no one sees. He didn’t hit me. He didn’t scream. But he broke me in the most invisible way possible—by turning me into someone I didn’t recognize.
He made me question my worth.
He made me doubt my voice.
He made me feel like being enough was always just a little out of reach.
And for a long time, I believed it.
⸻
I kept playing it over in my head—every word, every silence, every excuse I swallowed to protect him. I thought if I could just understand why he did it, I could let it go.
But there’s no answer big enough to fix the damage. Sometimes people hurt you because they’re broken themselves. And sometimes… they just don’t care.
⸻
Forgiveness wasn’t a straight line. It was messy. Some days I felt strong and free. Other days I cried in the shower, shaking with rage at the memory of what he took from me.
Not just time—but trust. Peace. Pieces of my identity.
And still, I couldn’t forgive him. Because forgiving him felt like freeing him from the pain he caused.
But then, one night, something changed.
I was sitting in bed scrolling through old messages, and I realized I didn’t feel anything anymore. No anger. No longing. No desire for revenge.
Just… exhaustion.
I was tired of carrying it.
⸻
I realized that by holding on to the pain, I wasn’t punishing him—I was punishing myself.
He had moved on. Maybe with someone new. Maybe with a clean conscience. Meanwhile, I was still chained to a ghost that didn’t even remember me.
That’s when I decided to forgive him—not because he deserved it.
But because I deserved peace.
⸻
Forgiveness isn’t about excusing what happened. It’s about choosing not to let it control you anymore.
It’s not weak.
It’s not passive.
It’s the most powerful thing you can do—because it says: You no longer get to live inside me.
I still remember what he did. But I don’t flinch when his name comes up. I don’t feel that knot in my chest anymore. I’ve reclaimed the parts of me he tried to ruin.
And that?
That’s real freedom.
⸻
So if you’re reading this and holding on to pain someone else caused, I want you to know:
You don’t have to forgive them today.
You don’t have to forget what happened.
You don’t have to pretend you’re okay.
But when you’re ready, forgive them—not because they deserve it.
But because you do.
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Author’s Note:
This story isn’t about excusing the inexcusable. It’s about healing. If you’re still hurting, take your time. But don’t carry their weight forever. You were never meant to.
About the Creator
Muhammad Hakimi
Writing stories of growth, challenge, and resilience.
Exploring personal journeys and universal truths to inspire, connect, and share the power of every voice.
Join me on a journey of stories that inspire, heal, and connect.
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Comments (4)
Inspiring
Keep going my brother nice work
Good story keep growing muhammad hakimi i wish you succeed
Beautiful story