Why I Draw

When I was 5 years old, my hobbies were mostly writing, drawing, and reading about animals. At one point, I decided I was going to be a doctor when I grew up. More specifically, a veterinarian. That dream stayed with me as I grew older, and it kind of gave me a purpose through high school. It actually wasn’t until I entered college that reality found its way into my line of vision. I failed all of my medical classes and most of my math over the next three years, and that showed me that there was pretty much no way I would ever become a doctor.

I finished college about a year ago, and now I have a job at a local grocery store. Thing is, though, my job is not my life. Not even close. Granted, I spend about half my time there, but it’s not one of my major interests. For a while after I started college, I didn’t even have any major interests; I just had classes to keep me busy. I am now in the young adult years of my life, and up until recently, I thought that I would never find a new goal for myself. When I did, it was almost entirely by accident.

A few of my close relatives have written fanfiction or created fanart as of recently. When I found out about it, I decided to look into that as an option for keeping myself busy. Little did I know that my childhood ‘minor hobby’ of drawing and writing (though in the distant past it was terribly done) would become my new passion.

Since rediscovering my creativity, I have written multiple works of fanfiction and am currently writing a few books on the side. My writing is not as big of an interest to me as my art is, however; I have to be in a certain mood to write, but I can draw almost anytime. For about a year or so during my college classes, I was a part of an online community that allowed me the option to promote my art through commissions, and I enjoyed it very much.

My family has been very supportive of my drawing, and I have found that it is a very effective way of expressing myself and making me and the people I draw for happy. I have ultimately come to realize that this form of art might be the perfect replacement for my old dream. My only problem is, I need to overcome a few hurdles before I can be satisfied with my art.

Hurdle one: I need to fine-tune some new techniques and methods I’ve been working on.

Hurdle two: I really want to take digital art classes, as I believe that might improve my computer art significantly. However, despite my current income, I can’t afford classes.

And finally, hurdle three: This whole time, I have been using my Chromebook screen to create digital art. I don’t have a stylus; I have just been using my finger to draw with. I’ve heard from other people (online and in-person) that use of a drawing tablet would greatly improve my works and make my online drawing easier. My problem is, I can’t afford that, either.

So, with that said, I think the general issue here is I can’t really afford to become better. I can only do so much with what I have, but I feel like ‘what I have’ isn’t going to be satisfactory after a while. Maybe that’s just my scatter-brained ADHD talking, maybe not. Either way, I hope to find a way to reach the level of digital artist that I want (professional anime-style) and maybe market my work someday.

One way or another, I plan to get there. Eventually.