Why are we unhappy even if we have everything?| MindfulStack

Today we will explain why so many people nowadays can’t be happy, even if they basically have everything.

Let’s face it, the Western way of life is relatively free and pleasant, albeit with all its limitations and downsides.

Most of us have a job, food, a home to go back to, however many still can’t enjoy it all.

I realize that this article comes at a time when many people, in Italy but also elsewhere, are experiencing a bad situation due to the pandemic, however, this is just a confirmation of how COVID-19 has highlighted even more how we are not used to difficulties since we always had everything.

What leads us to unhappiness is the fact that we have everything and are not yet happy. It means we’re not able to enjoy anything in the present and are anxious for the future.

I know this because I speak from personal experience, otherwise, I would not be here to say so. I still have a hard time enjoying the present and what I’ve achieved, but I am trying to learn to do it.

Today I want to offer practical suggestions to have a greater balance and avoid the riot of intrusive thoughts that take place in our minds, which lead us precisely to unhappiness.

The reasons why we are inclined to feel sad despite having a lot to be happy about are quite obvious:

We have too much freedom, and we don’t know what to do with it, so we use it to question the meaning of life and torture ourselves with various amenities

We take too much for granted what we have

Social media, TV, and society, in general, push us more and more to feel guilty about who we are, so everyone wants more, more and more and is comparing him/herself to someone who reached a bigger goal

We are constantly depressed by negative news that is thrown at us every day, or generated by our own inner reasoning

What I described so far is perfectly well known. I do not agree with many happiness coaches who spread the message that you have to try to be happy, because this is another huge obstacle to happiness. This is what I think:

The anxiety of having to be happy is the number one block to our happiness. Trying to reject the sadness and the negative emotions we are experiencing at a certain time will only depress us even more.

The fundamental question, however, is: how do we change this mindset?

As far as I’m concerned happiness shouldn’t be seen as something to achieve, but something that’s already there. It’s here, we can “touch” it, and it’s in the lives of all of us.

You can choose every single day to be happy, for example, you can:

• Think about everything you’ve got, and that you’re taking for granted because you’re used to it

• Write every day about the small successes achieved (they can also be very slight things like getting up early)

• Write every day three things you’re grateful for

• Compare your situation to the really troubling ones, this will give you a different perspective on what you’re experiencing allowing you to see it for what it really is. I have already explained how this does not mean to “enjoy other people’s misfortunes”, but is simply a “cognitive exercise” that helps the mind balance itself.

• Recondition your reality with elements, stimuli, ideas that can make you happy (even small things like listening to a song you like)

• Avoid seeking happiness in gigantic projects and finding it in small things (at least as far as the present moment is concerned, that doesn’t mean you don’t have to work on the future).

• Don’t try to be happy. This is crucial. Forcing yourself to be happy at a time when you’re not, doesn’t work. If you are experiencing a negative moment accept it, throw it in and gently let it go.

• Meditate. Meditation develops awareness towards the present moment. Yes exactly, practice mindfulness meditation.

I hope these simple tips can help. The theme is complex and the “techniques” to achieve happiness are different for each of us, however, I think I have come up with some useful ideas.

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