Who, what, when, where, why?

In the daily drone of doing things on repeat, it's hard not to get caught up in the who, when's, where's, and why's.

We see ourselves with such a skewed point of view. When we look in the mirror we nitpick all the little things that make us who we are. Though we know that who we appear to be on the outside, is not us completely, we still tend to judge our own books by their cover. We see the imperfections and obsess over what we look like; but through our own eyes, we can forget who we are completely.

I know myself to be caring, kind, sweet, loving, thoughtful and sharing. However, when I gaze upon my appearance… I think of the way my face is uneven, or how my hairline isn’t perfect. I grab my waist and pose to make it smaller, I suck in and turn sideways to see myself from the “perfect angle.” We never are quite satisfied in what we are.

There’s the healthy things, like getting some good exercise, or eating a bit healthier… but deep down we won’t ever be satisfied. If my skin is clear, my body looks too fat. If my body looks fit, my skin is covered with acne. It seems as though, if we’re ever satisfied with one aspect of our appearance, we cannot simply compliment it. We always follow what were happy about, with something that isn’t meeting our own high standards. Of course we have a couple things to blame for that. We see a poster, picture-perfect picture of what we’re supposed to look like, plastered all over social media. We see the “new diet” or the “new product” that will change our lives immediately after instituting it in our lives. But is this ever true?

I couldn’t even begin to tell you how many new things I’ve tried, in an attempt to compete with the social media standard. In fact, it’s embarrassing how much I’ve spent over the years, whether it be time, or energy, on new trends to make myself perfect.

The harsh reality is that no one is perfect. Even the models we starve ourselves to “look like,” don’t always look picture-perfect.

We are inherently born with this needy little gene, that constantly asks if we’re good enough. We always try to be at our best, or at least put up a front that shows how amazing we’re doing. No matter what capacity the situation entails, there isn’t a part of us that doesn’t give a damn. We always care, even if we like to pretend we don’t.

I know that this is nothing profound, but it’s truly time to change that.

I can honestly say that I love who I am as a person. I may hate almost every single thing about how I look on the outside, but I truly love who I am on the inside. I truly do. I care, and I devote myself to the people I love, and my passions. I am driven, and always ready to do that extra little thing to make someone’s day.

On the outside though, my inside self falters. I hate the way I look in some way, shape or form, every day of my life. There isn’t a day I don’t pass by a mirror and judge something about myself. It doesn’t matter how much good I do, or how much I care, I will always find something wrong with myself.

I think back to when I was a carefree kid, giving my love, and feeling so confident in myself. I was unapologetically outgoing, and always myself 100% of the time. So I cannot help but ask myself, where did that all go?

It isn’t a provocative question… in fact, it’s something we’ve all asked ourselves at one point or another. It’s a way of reminding oneself, that no. Not everything is perfect. But can we take a moment to imagine how dull life would be if everything was always perfect? If we take a look at studies of society, we see that so much imperfection is what keeps this life interesting. We may not be roaming the earth for a long time, but we leave an impression. If every single person was what we deem beautiful and perfect, there’d be nothing ever out of the ordinary.

I often daydream of the “life I’d have” if I was perfect. If my feet were smaller, I was two inches shorter, my skin was always clear, my eyelashes were dark and long, my hair was the perfect shade of brown, my eyes were blue, my nose wasn’t bumpy, my thighs were smaller, my waist was smaller, and my boobs were a bit bigger.

What good would that do? If I had “it all,” I wouldn’t ever have a little something to strive for, or at least keep it interesting. If everyone got exactly what they wanted, looks wise, what would keep us going?

We know that our intellect is something great; something to always work on and pursue. However, in today’s world, we turn up our nose at those with something to say, to admire the pretty faces. Even then, the standard of beauty varies so frequently that you can never truly please everyone. That is where I catch myself. Since when did I decide that I wanted to please everyone?

The truth is, that ever since we developed our own sense of thought, we have never been after just ourselves. Others influence all the time, whether we like it or not. It is up to us to stop caring. We should not become numb to our impact on others, but we should look more into the bright future that is us. We can do far more great and fulfilling things when we are not wasting our time obsessing over the way things look.

It is my new goal to help others see their true beauty. After all, most beauty, or what is perceived as such, comes straight from the radiance of the individual’s confidence. No one is ever going to be able to truly love or connect with someone who cannot even love themself. In fact, why even bother? Yes, we are all insecure, and that is not what makes us special. We are so unique in so many ways, and there is no need for such harsh competition. You matter, we matter; and we matter to us.

Therefore, I challenge us all to look through someone else’s eyes. Preferably from someone who loves you.

When we look at those we love, we see all the beauty, both inside and out. If we heard someone we love talking about all the “horrible” and “wrong” things about themselves, it would break our hearts. So in moving forward, let us treat ourselves as someone we love so deeply. Because if nothing else, who are we living for?