What to Do If You Want More Purpose, Passion, and Meaning

"I don't believe that people want a purpose in life just as much as they want a life experience." ~ Joseph Campbell

Do you ever feel like there should be more to life? More purpose, love, meaning - whatever your name of choice is?

It happened to me twice. The first period was during the first years of my legal career, and the second was a few years ago (after fighting aggressive breast cancer).

Each time I wished for more explanation, yet these two experiences would not have been so different.

When it happened to me as a young lawyer, I had no idea what to do.

I wanted to be a lawyer since I was ten years old, and there was a purpose behind the decisions I had made up to that point. Decisions that brought me to where I was, such as:

Majoring in economics (I have young business children) in college because I want to be a business lawyer, and

Choosing corporate finance law because my ability to quickly identify patterns and solutions helped to organize deals.

In the early days of my career, I had a deep sense of satisfaction. But over the next four years, that changed gradually.

I didn’t realize how bad it was until the next morning I got off the office elevator and suddenly I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was terrified.

I walked into my office, closed the door, and cried. That’s when I admitted to myself that I felt trapped in a meaningless life that I worked so hard to build.

And that raised questions such as: How could I ever feel in love with this life? Was I wrong? If not, what changed?

After allowing my insecurities to paralyze me for a few months, I finally decided to do something about it.

I made a list of the things I liked about my life, including:

Working eight hours or more per week (over a year)

An average of only five hours of sleep per night

I feel like I could easily be replaced and not make enough progress in the work I was doing

Not spending meaningful time with friends for more than a year

A wandering mind that never existed

Snatching my husband (a lot!) For no real reason and being bitter to peers who interrupt my work

My list of woes was embarrassing, and I didn't like who I was. But it has given me a way out of how to fix my problems. In addition, it helped me to see what the real purpose was.

Up to that point, I have been looking for solutions outside and I think I need to find my true calling.

The idea that purpose comes from a single source is a myth. So is the idea that you get your goal. You don't get it; you create a purpose in life by:

you use your energy to make an impact (happily),

to conform your life to your core values, and

to feel that you are a member.

Let's talk about what this means and how to adjust the course to each location.

1. You use your energy to make an impact (in a fun way)

Most people understand that that goal comes (at least in part) from making an impact. But there is more to it than that.

If you want to make a meaningful impact, you will need to use your skills to the best of your ability (and that requires you to enjoy what you are doing). That’s how you find and stay motivated.

My problem was that I felt like my strength was not being fully utilized in the work I was doing - and that I was stuck in the same position, standing.

So I asked to do more and was looking for a job for young people. Eventually, I changed firms and worked in a different financial position for a business that best suited my skills.

2. Adapt your health to your core values

Basic values ​​are rules that make you unique. It affects how you see the world around you and how you make decisions (even if you don't know yourself).

When your life is not in harmony with your values, you will feel as if something is missing.

One of the biggest reasons I was not very happy was that I was not living up to my many basic values. One of my values ​​is family - I not only spent a lot of time with them, but I wasn't really there when I did.

One of my values ​​is connection (which means for me, it means to connect deeply with those around me and to stay in touch with me). My desire to do more and work harder makes that almost impossible.

I felt isolated from family, friends, and peers alike. And my insomnia and high stress made it difficult for me to understand my thoughts and feelings.

To remedy this, I began to set work limits and reduced my workload. After that, I focused on taking care of myself and my family and friends.

3. Feeling you belong

A sense of belonging is a key to happiness. It brings meaning to your life.

Being human includes feeling needed, accepted, and loved. To have a sense of belonging requires effort on your part. It requires you to want to connect with other people who give you the feeling that you are a member.

Unfortunately, the way we live our lives often alienates us from each other. We prefer technology rather than internal communication and we move faster in life to reach the next thing.

That's what I was doing. I was cut off from those who always understood me, and I even worried that they would not understand what I was going through. But how can they do this when I often see them or talk to them?

Fortunately, this could be remedied - the things I was already doing to better communicate with family and friends helped me develop my sense of belonging. Also, I joined organizations that I had been very busy with (and missed out on).

This experience has given me a plan that I should follow for the rest of my life.

It helped me to find out why I was yearning for a purpose in life after the fight against breast cancer (it turns out that the way I defined one of my main values ​​- service - had changed). But the second one was different because I was sure I could find it.