What's Holding You Back?

With the digital age zooming into hyper-speed, the constant flow of information bombarding our mental space, and societal pressures, it can be hard to get over an unproductive slump. Oftentimes the easiest thing to do is nap or wallow, but these things don't push us to be the best people we can be! There are always steps we can take to move forward, however it all starts from the will of the individual. Is moving forward worth the discomfort of breaking old habits, getting out of bed, and stepping out of the comfort zone? It is really worth asking yourself these things if you've found yourself in a slump. Whether you want to tackle these issues on your own, or with the help of a professional counselor, it's up to you, however there are plenty of resources to help with giving you a mental energy boost, this article is just one of them!

Rule 1: don't be lazy.

We've all got work to do, whether it's homework, scheduled hours, or freelance/hobby related. The difference between quality work, and last minute put-togethers is that those who took the time to finish their work early were able to spend the rest of the time given for the project perfecting the details of the work, which make the end product fantastic!

Laziness is an obstacle. It can come in the form of endless Facebook scrolling, or simply watching TV. When we let this get the best of us, it can impact your overall quality of life. Laziness can often lead to piles of work left undone, which inevitably harbors either stress or carelessness; both of which can hinder a person's achievement of their goals. If you're too lazy to get the work done as soon as possible, you should ask yourself whether the work is worthwhile to help you achieve your goals, or if its just a personal habit of laziness getting in the way. If the former is the case, I would suggest not wasting energy and time taking up tasks that don't bring you closer to your goals. If the latter is the case, you'll learn a lot more, and have a better product by the end if you decide to get cracking as soon as possible!

When tackling laziness, think of the benefits that come from you getting to work as soon as possible:

• More time to collaborate with colleagues on the subject
• More time to finalize the product and make adjustments/tweaks
• More time left to obtain information about the task at hand
• More time to do other things!

Rule 2: stop waiting.

Take your shots now. One of the greatest procrastination habits is waiting for a sign, an opportunity, or for someone to tell us to do something. There's a certain level of comfort in waiting. It's a period of time in which the task is requiring us to pass time. When we associate this process as something that needs to be done it can easily become a scapegoat to laziness. If you actually do need to wait, you can engage in productivity, while you do so, but if you're waiting because you're depending on your external circumstances to give you a push, then you've left the call to action up to sheer luck. Take action now, whether you've got an entire list of things to do, or absolutely nothing to do; you'll thank yourself greatly later on for taking the step forward into completing things, or looking for something to complete. When we reach into our will, and take action as soon as possible, it builds initiative, which is a key characteristic defining most people who have worked their way into success.

Rule 3: rely on yourself.

Independence is the most rewarding achievement. We all see people flexing, enjoying life, and sharing everything on social media, but what we don't see is how they got all that (If integrity isn't important to you, I would suggest you stop reading here). There are people who have things handed to them their whole lives, yet boast personal success; if you've got any sense of integrity you are not one of these people. We all deserve it, and at one point we've probably had help, however if you're expecting a made life to be handed to you, I'm sorry to say that this might not be the case, unless you take it upon yourself to make some rich friends, or ask your parents to do this for you.

If you get into the habit of taking no chances with people and fully relying on yourself, you'll notice yourself becoming a more responsible, and proactive person. It's a greatly positive experience to go from taking help to helping yourself. When we're at a deficit, and we need help, its okay to ask for it, however we should not depend on the help of others. If there is a dependency built upon that help, and it gets taken away, you're screwed! Help yourself, rely on yourself. You'll find that in practicing this perspective you'll be immune to being disappointed in others, and you'll gain a sense of competence from solving your own issues! It is often argued that relying on the self closes one from receiving external help, however I argue against this point. External help is a blessing, but if one doesn't have a concept of self-dependence, this external help can easily be confused for something to depend on. One who knows to rely on themselves can take all the help they can get, however they will be completely unscathed when this help is taken away.

Rule 4: be practical.

If you're into spiritualism and metaphysics you're probably used to being given some far-fetched solutions to very simple issues. Simplicity is one of your greatest friends on this journey. Practicality and realism are part of simplicity, as giving yourself goals that are too big, or too unrealistic will indefinitely lead to disappointment and anxiety. Solving issues, and completing tasks are associated with gaining positive self image, as it's easy to feel proud once we've completed something, which reinforces the idea that achieving reasonable goals leads to a positive self image.

Say it, "I did it!" doesn't that feel rewarding? You can imagine the other end of this in a scenario where someone gives themselves an unrealistic goal, and is unable to complete it. Of course nobody should give up making this mistake, and I'm not saying unrealistic goals are impossible, however not being able to complete a task can lead people to believe negative self-images when they tell themselves things like "I wasn't good enough." This isn't always the case, as a lot of people use failure as a motivator, however it's a lot easier to avoid failure when we set realistic goals.

Rule 5: have positive influences in your circle.

A rotting apple will always spread its fungus, just as misery will always love company. Keep a distance from people who don't motivate you towards your goals. This doesn't mean completely abandoning people, as that isn't ideal, or humane for most relationships. To work on ourselves, however, it is better to be in one's own space than the space of people who are toxic, or who provide no positive influence. On the other end, when we become friends with people who inspire us, and motivate us to do better as people, or at our work, progress towards success comes a lot more naturally and easily. It's not easy for everyone to simply make new friends, however taking some transitory steps to make new friends to enhance connections may prove to be lots of help in the long run. This help can be in the form of advice, opportunities through connections, and competition in work. Many people have different roles in different groups as well, for example: At school I am a classmate among other classmates, at work I am a worker among other workers, and in my neighbourhood I am a resident just like the others on my street. Within these groups (in some cases teams) the objective ranges from simple conversation, and spending time, to working together to complete an objective. The reason why I mention this example is because it's healthy for an individual to have their roles in places where objectives need to be completed, and places where they can take it easy and relax. Neither of these places, however, should include negative people.

Rule 6: don't waste energy on the uncontrollable.

There's a time for work, and a time for rest, however there should be no time for futile efforts. Security comes with doing as much as we can do, and sometimes just that ensures it, but in a lot of cases this isn't exactly the truth. Be comfortable with doing your best, and leaving whatever you can't control up to luck. This will save you from depleting your mental, emotional, and physical energy reserves. Practicing this rule will take a lot of stress off of you, by taking away the expectation of perfect results. Acceptance is absolutely necessary when things don't go our way, and we can't control. The only thing that's hard to accept is the fact that we didn't do our best when the results come in unfavorably. Do your best, and it won't be as hard to accept an L, and move on with your life.

Rule 7: don't be a people-pleaser.

A lot of us have loved ones that we cherish and adore. We want to see these people proud of us; we want them to be comfortable and happy. These are all great things to want, however they can be troublesome if they are prioritized before personal progress. Impressing someone can become a goal itself, and can be used as a motivating force, but this can go wrong very easily in different ways. People can be insatiable, we can lose sight of our personal needs, and the worst of all is that it's possible to lose sight of the main objective! When it comes to personal goals, remember to stay quiet, as opening up too early may cause problems, and create expectations within people, which may lead to disappointment if gone unfulfilled. Talk about your goals after completing them, as there is much more to show in that case. As tempting as it may be to expose the progress, it is much more rewarding, and easier to stay on track, when we learn to practice positive reinforcement from the self. This takes away the habit of constantly checking for approval, and having external approval as a source of motivation. Doing things for yourself, and completing them is one of the most rewarding feelings you can achieve.

Rule 8: take care of your health.

Being healthy is the biggest contributor to having great energy reserves. Eating right, getting enough exercise and sleep are keys in keeping your energies high. Blood flow is important to brain activity, and there are a lot of factors involved with a healthy blood flow. These factors include a nutritious diet, healthy lungs, enough sleep, and exercise. When we practice these things, we don't get as physically or mentally tired when we are tasked to do things, and the reason for why is because the body has plenty of reserves to tap into for energy. Blood flow to the brain is proven to have a positive effect on brain activity, which tells us that our thoughts are clear, more efficient, and come to use faster when we take care of our health. Mental, physical, and emotional energy are all intertwined with maintaining good health. Although people may vary in how much they tap into each of these reserves, depending on what their lifestyle entails, maintaining good health helps everyone with everything!

Rule 9: kill the old habits.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Sounds familiar? This is a common habit that people develop; sadly enough a lot of people have a hard time overcoming it due to the intensity of these habits. This part of the article is to remind you to try a different approach, or to break the old habits. For example: if you find yourself smoking too much every day, challenge yourself to smoke less for a while, and eventually work towards not smoking it all! The addiction of smoking won't go away by simply continuing to smoke every day. This advice can be applied to anyone whose in the habit of letting time, or health, pass by little by little every day. Challenge yourself, and kill the old ways!

All in all it's hard to maintain life in the city, as there are pressures from every angle, and oftentimes it's hard to find a solid and efficient approach, as to how we can achieve our goals. But remembering a few key rules can take us a long way, and protect us from wasting time and energy! I hope you find this article helpful, as I myself try to remember and teach these things as much as I can within the scope of my personal life.