What My Heart Said

I was asked, “Why did you decide to let your heart speak?”

Born with a generous heart, kindness was an involuntary action for me. I didn’t know how else to be. I love giving and sharing, and I want it. So, I gave it to everyone without a thought.

For over fifty years, most people in my life have mistaken my generosity for stupidity.

I stored all their cruelty, thoughtlessness, and pain in my heart.

For some reason, their actions didn’t taint or hurt my heart or my life.

So, I continued being good to the same people who had been cheating, lying, and scheming me for years. My life improved as I added kindness to our world.

Theirs didn’t, and I often motivated, uplifted, and encouraged them while offering money, along with positive advice, suggestions, and options as they complained to me about what life and others did to them.

The year 2022 was a difficult one for me. The thoughtlessness of the humans in my life hit me sixfold. The morning after, I woke up with my heart aching.

I couldn’t understand how they could be so heartless to me. For the first time in my life, I wanted revenge. That thought increased the agony my heart was already feeling. I felt as if a truck drove through my heart, leaving tire tracks of pain.

In fear, I locked it, leaving the key inside.

The pain found a way to enter.

Fighting the turmoil, I planned my revenge, and my torment doubled. With every negative thought that entered my locked heart, the pain tripled.

For the next two days, I stopped living, but the pain increased with each negative thought or idea that entered my brain. I have never experienced this level of misery in my life. My heart hurt, and I wasn’t having a heart attack.

My survival instincts suggested, ‘Let your heart speak.’ You allow hatred and cruelty to enter your heart. Silence will allow them to stay and destroy you.’

After years of storing and ignoring the cruelty of humanity, my silence allows it to stick and grow.

Now it managed to reach inside and touch my heart. I didn’t like how I felt. Remaining silent, I allowed hatred to infiltrate my heart. Now, I wanted to hurt the ones who hurt me.

I became someone I didn’t like. I became cruel with hatred in my heart.

I felt as if my body was on fire, and I couldn’t escape the pain as it flamed and burned through all my internal organs. I didn’t know hate hurts. I wasn’t aware that resenting others would hurt me, too.

I had a choice.

I go deep within myself for the best solution.

Witnessing the consequences and rewards of kindness and cruelty, love and hatred, as they played out in the lives of many people I know, I turned to Life for an answer.

Life gave me a solution, along with two choices.

I could rid my heart of hatred, live, and be happy.

Or I could hold on to the resentment, allowing it to destroy me from within.

As a very shy introvert, speaking out was hard for me. But #Iintend2survive, so I must find a healthy way to release the pain and heal myself.

I began to allow my heart to speak.

The more I speak, the less pain I feel.

And I no longer wanted revenge. Speaking made me realize that I need to keep my kindness account active because silence will threaten to close it.

Because life, kindness, hatred, and cruelty pay us back like a weekly or monthly salary without prejudice. Every evil and good we do is calculated like our hourly paycheck and sent back to us in many ways.

I am aware that balance needs to be played, but my life is the way it is because hatred and cruelty never had to pay me back. And it was a good one until I allowed cruelty to touch my heart.

Allowing my heart to speak, I can heal and close the door to anything that threatens my sanity and life. Life has weird ways of teaching us to be stronger.

Whatever you do, don’t allow HATRED to win. Don’t let cruelty, thoughtlessness, and all the negative actions that can ruin a good heart in.

LET YOUR HEART SPEAK!

But with Positive words, actions, choices, and decisions

With silence, we allow everything negative to win.

But speaking will allow healing to begin.

Thank you for reading this piece. I hope you enjoyed it.