What My Hardest Year Taught Me About Life, Love, and Letting Go

I Didn’t Know Rock Bottom Would Feel This Quiet

It didn’t happen all at once.

It wasn’t one big explosion, one tragic moment, or one clear disaster.

Instead, life unraveled slowly—like a thread being pulled from a sweater until there was nothing left to hold onto.

One year changed everything.

And though I wouldn’t want to relive it, it became the year that taught me the most about life, love, and most importantly—letting go.

Lesson 1: You Can’t Fix Everything (Even If You Want To)

I’ve always been the fixer.

If something was broken, I tried to repair it. If someone was hurting, I wanted to be the one to heal them. That mindset worked for a while… until it didn’t.

That year, my long-term relationship began to fall apart.

We stopped talking the way we used to.

We started walking around each other, not with each other.

And no matter how much I gave, tried, or begged for connection—it didn’t fix it.

I learned the hard way that love isn’t always enough to hold two people together when they’re growing in opposite directions.

Letting go of that relationship was like pulling my heart out with my bare hands. But it also gave me space to breathe for the first time in months.

Lesson 2: Burnout Isn’t Bravery

Around the same time, I was working too much.

Like many of us, I thought working non-stop was a sign of strength.

That pushing through exhaustion made me “strong” or “dedicated.”

I ignored the signs:

The constant fatigue

The anxiety that showed up like clockwork every morning

The weekend headaches that never went away

It took a breakdown at my desk—tears I couldn’t stop, a body I couldn’t force to function—to realize something had to give.

I took a leave. I started therapy. I began to sleep again.

Rest is not weakness. It’s survival.

Lesson 3: People Show You Who They Are in Hard Times

Hard times don’t just test your strength—they reveal who really stands beside you when everything crumbles.

That year, some friends disappeared. Messages left unread. Calls never returned.

But others stepped in—quietly, consistently, and with love.

One friend brought soup when I couldn’t get out of bed.

Another sat with me in silence when I had nothing left to say.

They didn’t try to fix me. They just showed up.

I learned to stop chasing people who didn’t make space for me—and to hold tighter to those who did.

Lesson 4: Healing Isn’t a Straight Line

Some days, I felt like I was moving on.

Then out of nowhere, a song, a place, a photo—would bring the pain back like it never left.

I thought healing meant always getting better.

But real healing is messy. It’s waves of progress followed by moments of crashing.

It’s crying over something you thought you were done grieving.

And that’s okay.

I learned to give myself grace.

To sit with the pain.

To feel without judgment.

Lesson 5: Letting Go Creates Space for What You Deserve

By the end of that year, I had lost things I once thought I couldn’t live without:

A partner

A version of my career

Certain friendships

My old identity

But in that space, I started to rebuild.

I found hobbies I’d abandoned.

I met new people who felt like sunshine.

I reconnected with my own voice—the one I’d buried trying to please others.

Letting go isn’t giving up. It’s choosing yourself.

Life Doesn’t Always Give You What You Want—But It Gives You What You Need

That hardest year?

It didn’t destroy me.

It stripped away what was false so I could build something real.

I no longer chase people or things that aren’t meant for me.

I rest when I need to.

I speak kindly to myself.

And I trust that even pain has purpose.

Final Thought

If you’re in your hardest year right now—keep going.

You don’t need to have it all figured out.

You don’t need to be strong every second.

You just need to keep showing up, one breath, one step, one tear at a time.

The wisdom comes later.

And one day, you’ll look back and say:

“That was the year I finally found myself.”