What does it mean to fail?

What does it mean to fail? Does it mean that you’re wrong? Ignorant? A loser? Not smart? Too lazy? Not enough money? Strength? There are many definitions of what failure is but it varies for every person. Even if we know what it means to fail the important question to ask is why? Why am I not where I want to be? Why am I stuck in this cycle of being unsuccessful? What am I doing that is preventing me from being who I want to become? What is the ACTUAL reason for me being unsuccessful?

The last one is the question that really got me thinking and honestly had me baffled. It genuinely made absolutely no sense to me why I am struggling financially. Of course logically the reason I am struggling is because of my spending habits and stuff like that but even that isn’t the reason. There is no reason why I can’t buy food when I want and still have more than enough to cover my monthly expenses. The rich don’t worry about miniscule stuff like food, bills, and other necessities and even wants. If the rich, and more importantly the wealthy, there is a difference, don’t worry about stuff as small food then why am I?

I’ve heard growing up that if you want to have more in the future that you should cut back on the coffee or cut down on your daily spending habits because they add up. That seems logical but for most, it just isn’t practical. For most, coffee is the stable that allows them to do what they do and conquer the day. To be told to cut back or even stop purchasing coffee, it isn’t even an option. I understand this because my vice is food. I absolutely love the different smells and tastes that encompass food.

I know that you don’t need as much food as you might believe, however, the taste and different flavors that life has to offer are too enticing to ignore and pass up. I only know that food is not as important as we may make it seem because I have done many fasts in the past and intermittent fast everyday and have been for nearly the past 5-7 years. Fasting has always been something that’s interested me. When I undergo a fast and I successfully make it through the 24, 48, or even 72 hour fast, I come out with a better understanding of not only myself but of my relationship with food. When you successfully complete a fast your perspective on food will change.

Perhaps it’s a small change or a BIG change like it has been for me. If this is something that you are interested in, I highly recommend doing your research and experiencing first hand what a fast can do for you and your life! Back to the main topic. I only mention fasting to give you a better understanding of my relationship and what food is and means to me. To clarify, food to me is something that I understand is not something I need everyday. Eating quality meals 2-3 times a week is more than enough for me and my health.

With that being said I absolutely love eating. I can definitely be classified as an emotional eater but part of me just doesn’t care. It’s not the best way of thinking but I believe myself to be of great health so I tend to be lax when it comes to food and health. Of course, I don’t recommend this mindset; it's simply my current state of thinking. I know that I can always improve my health and I am nowhere near where I want to be in terms of my health but I’ve definitely been complaciente with it.

Anyway, when I was sitting in that Hy-Vee parking lot and as I was asking myself these questions there was no real answer that was sufficient enough for me to think “that’s a reasonable answer!” All of the answers were not satisfactory for me. Due to the fact that there was no real answer for me it changed my paradigm. It allowed me to understand that although I could practice better spending habits, that isn’t necessarily the problem. Why isn’t that the problem? If I had $100,000 in my bank account, I would not be thinking about the $10-$20 I spend here and there. I know that if I can’t manage a little money then I surely won’t be able to manage a great deal of money.

Perhaps my spending problem is more real than I make it, despite that I know that if I had true wealth, food would not be on the list of my worries. “How can I double my money?” would be the important question. Even now it is an important question to ask yourself. Patrick Bet-David introduced me to the idea of money being a doubles game and that you are only a certain number of doubles away from a million dollars or whatever your number is. As I write this I feel as though my thoughts have been scattered. I promise you it is all connected. It would likely be more useful giving you my background and story however this is where I chose to start and I will make everything come together and make sense for you, maybe.