What a Funeral Taught Me About Life

A few years back, I attended a funeral of a man I did not know. That’s weird you would think? But he was the husband of a colleague of mine. I was there to support her, and to show my respects in her time of grief.

Personally, I hate funerals. I think most of us do. We hate seeing others in their grief while suffering the loss of a loved one. Even if we do not know the person, we can still feel the pain, as we remember friends or family members that we have lost.

I hate to see people suffer. We all do unless we are some kind of sadist or something.

The minister spoke about the deceased man and cast him in a really wonderful light. The man’s name was Douglas. They all referred to him as ‘Doug.’

We heard stories of his craziness and his wonderful sense of humour. We heard stories of him being a rebel in his life and his favourite TV shows and movies.

But mostly we heard about how people had experienced Doug in life, that he was a fun guy to be around, and there were photos everywhere and on screen of the life he had lived. He had lived a very adventurous and full life.

The pictures and slides during his funeral were moments in time capturing his life. They spoke about his passions for motor vehicles and that he was a hardworking man. He ran his own trucking company and supported his family and extended family.

He seemed to have done very well for himself and those around him financially, but what really resonated with me as we listened to eulogies of the people in his life was his generosity.

Doug had done well for himself through hard work, and taking risks, but he had shared his success with so many, the rewards he had received, he had handed out to those around him, helping them out when they were in a tight spot.

All that remained of Doug was the impact that he had on other people’s lives. So many people stood up and spoke of this ordinary man and how he helped others out. How he worked extra hard to assist others, how nothing was too much of an effort for him. If you were his friend, he was a genuine friend.

So many people stood up and told stories of how Doug had been there in their time of need. It moved me to hear from people, as they spoke about Doug and his kind and giving nature, and his wonderful sense of humour.

It got me thinking about my own life. What impact am I having? Am I helping others? Am I giving some of myself to others and affecting their lives? It may not be financial, it could be in terms of service or favours, or giving time or advice or support emotionally.

We are social beings, and seeing the impact that Doug had reminded me of that fact.

When it is all said and done, all the material things don’t matter. What remains is our relationships and the meaning and support we gave to others, the way we served them. Our character is all important, and the integrity and honesty and love we showed for others. How much we cared, it’s all about relationships, true, meaningful and deep relationships.

Love and care are all that remains. Love is supreme and lasts in the memories of those touched by it.

Attending that funeral of a man I did not know really changed my perspective of what is important. These types of experiences refocus us toward introspection and guide us, hopefully, toward a deeper understanding of ourselves and others.

Many things, and activities like work, often distract us. In our striving to support our families, we become otherwise occupied, but we also need to take the time to love and care for others amongst the busy activities of our life. Small things can make an enormous difference in someone’s day.

Life is about experiences and relationships through shared experiences, that’s what Doug’s life was full of and he had left an army of people to tell of his impact. An ordinary man affecting others around him for good. I got a great sense of the character of Doug as I listened and observed all the eulogies that day. May he rest in peace.