We Stayed Alive, More than Staying Strong.

Life gives us a lot of options. For some of us it does not give us that many options even if it seems so. Being an international student in the US has its ups and downs, I use this lingo in every sense of the word. There are ups when you find friends or acquaintances of like minds, it feels goods. People from similar cultures and those who understand what you are going through can be a breath of fresh air, literally. I had come here in 2016 to study for a master’s degree, I ended studying for 2. Funny how that sounds, it is not funny because I ended up in debt and not with my dream job. Funny but extremely sad. As 2020 March came along, the pandemic had other plans for us international students, I never thought that such an unexpected situation would affect the world the way it did. Being someone from the persevering culture, I persevered while encouraging others like me to keep the faith and hope for some good news. Most of us were stranded, from not knowing how to take the next step to being stuck in one place unable to move, and when I mean stuck, I mean stuck. No travelling, no work, no money, no shelter, no food, etc. most of all, no human connection because we could not even go home to family.

It was a disaster. We were and are still sad because some of us lost our jobs and did not even know how to live. Then comes depression, we had to attack it head-on. We had to come out of that cultural bondage and ‘talk’ about our fears and how to overcome them. In all of this, it is easy to say, ‘keep your head up high’, ‘do not lose hope’, ‘find resources that will help’, ‘reach out to people’’, keep the connections and networks lit up’, etc. in all of this, there is nothing like your own sense of accomplishment shattered to pieces without any hope of recovery. After looking at the situation that included me, because I ended up losing not just my job but my whole lifeline, I started looking for ways to help my fellow international students while helping myself, seriously, it needed to start with me first. While keeping connections open, talking with others virtually, and having done all we could do, waiting and being extremely patient was the only thing we had to do. While we waited, we might as well make the most of the situation. I started thinking of how to navigate this whole situation while staying healthy in both body and mind, first start with exercising. I already have a network, leveraging on it will be good. I curated some exercises, and we started a virtual exercise group, since we could not go to the gym physically. We were using what we had to pass time and keep our minds off the depressive situation we were in.

I also had a plan to help myself with depression. As international students, we do not openly talk about mental health because of cultural differences and traditional inclinations, we just do not. We had to attack the elephant in the room straight on, with honesty and transparency. This group was the most diverse, we had Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Filipino, Vietnamese, Indians, Europeans, Africans for sure, Caribbean, pacific islanders, and middle easterners, it did not matter what your sexual orientation was, gender, or social class, we all came together at this point, nothing, I mean not even money could save anybody. We needed each other to live. It was more like a global friendship group, even though we were remarkably diverse in every sense of the word, we still suffered all the same. The most important thing was that we found strength in our various experiences and affirmations. We started to curate menus from our various cuisines, and it was awesome. We shared recipes from the various countries that were healthy, well most of them are, and nutritious to our health while we waited at home for the next good news. We cooked, drank, laughed, and cried over zoom, google meet, facetime, etc. whatever platform was free, we utilized it. We thought it was a seamless waiting period until July came. It was exactly July 12th or thereabout, we heard the news that all international students should go back to their country as they cannot take online-only classes, we were devastated. In fact, the devastation was an understatement, coupled with the current tension of people not being able to go home or make a headway in life and work due to the pandemic lockdown, this came as the final blow to the jugular call it TKO if you wish. But you would think that we would give up completely, no we did not. Since we had already established a network, we amped up the follow-ups, the encouragement, and the where to get resources that will sustain us.

In all of this, we did not stop exercising, we did not stop eating healthy, sometimes we did not, and it was okay, we did not stop talking and most of all we did not lose hope. We comforted each other in realistic conversations and truths. Eventually, things turned around for some people, and for some, it did not. Those that could go home went home, those that could not stay to figure things out some more, I was one of them, still figuring it out and still looking for ways to make it better. In all this hullabaloo, we stayed focused on why we came here in the first place, what we wanted to achieve and how we were going to get there. If it meant taking other routes, we would explore it, but we did not give up hope overall.

Staying healthy in mind and body was a major part of our waiting process, we were nd still are, our own accountability partners, therapists, and relationship experts, we checked in and still check in on ourselves and we also slacked off on some days as if it was a psychic decision - we still slack off now, just saying... The most important thing for me with this entire friendship group is that we were able to start something worthwhile while experiencing the saddest and happy days in our international student life here in the US.

It is indeed a journey and we are still on it. 2020 has gone but its effects are still there, we are looking forward to getting vaccines, staying healthy and safe, while keeping our heads up so that we are not lost in the negative flows of life’s’ challenges and hardships. We revel in the happy days and small moments while we strongly focus on our mental health in a very significant way because when our minds are healthy, we are more clear-headed to face what is coming ahead. I stayed sane during last year's drama and staying sane through this year because of true friends and acquaintances. As I recollect our time since last year March, I send these tips as tokens to whoever out there is struggling to coast through life;

• Do not be hard on yourself, no matter what you do, people will still talk, so do it - as long as it is not harmful to your body, mind, and soul.
• Make friends along the way, some will turn out good some will turn out bad but keep loving. No hate. It saps strength.
• Try hard to reach out to those who do not have and genuinely help them, not as an investment but as a human being.
• Keep a clear head - your mental health is a concern, keep a healthy mind. Trust me it literally controls all we do.
• Eat healthy if you can - beware of what society sets as standards, not all of us have the money to follow those standards so, do what you can. the most important thing is no matter what you eat, MODERATION IS KEY.
• Live within your means while you seek better opportunities or a more desired lifestyle - if you are not where you want to be yet. time is for everybody.
• Try to make or get money - you need it, whatever your philosophy about money is, try to get it - you need it in life.

We all realised that staying healthy and living a healthier lifestyle is great, but we need to be alive and sane to have a healthy lifestyle. We stayed Alive.