Tips for effective communication

Effective communication is one of the most important skills we can learn, yet we often don't give it enough attention or dedication. Whether we are talking about formal communication, in writing or in person, a dinner with work colleagues, a networking event or an informal outing, how we communicate says a lot about us and, if it is poor, it affects others' perception of us and our capabilities. There are a number of 'exercises' you can put into practice on a daily basis to improve your communication skills, and my advice is to start as soon as possible.

1.Pay attention to body language

If you tell a conversation partner that you're ready for the serious talk they've warned you about, but your arms are crossed, they won't be able to convey much. Are you telling someone you're listening, but looking at your computer or phone? Nonverbal communication gives us away more than we expect and we often don't realise we're making gestures that contradict what we verbalise. Such postures, mimicry and reflexes can work to our disadvantage especially in interviews, important meetings or events. Read more about nonverbal communication and be more aware of your bodies when communicating

2. Avoid filler words

At school a long and consistent series of onomatopoeia such as "uh-huh" and "mmmm" took up more of our time listening to the blackboard. But we're not seven years old anymore and these are inappropriate in conversation and make us sound unprofessional and sap our confidence. Replace them with an unobtrusive gesture until you manage to get them out of use or pause, take a deep breath, have a sip of water.

3. Small talk requires preparation

Making conversation is not as simple as it sounds. To eliminate the awkward silence that can hang over two or more people you need a plan laid out in advance. Catch up on some simple news related to a neutral topic and start a conversation about it, a movie, a book or a new gadget. Take an interest in the hobbies of the people you'll be interacting with and challenge them with a question etc.

4. Tell a story

Stories are very powerful and we all have at least one worthy of public attention. If you have the gift of humour, all the better. If you don't have a truly unique story to monopolise the group with, then choose a story that others can easily relate to. This will make you more familiar to them and relax the conversation and atmosphere and make you likeable to others.

5. Ask questions

Let's be honest, we've all lost the string in a conversation at least once or heard a phrase wrong. Asking questions or replaying the interlocutor's last words shows interest and will challenge them to continue the story, and along the way you'll tie the information together to understand what was being discussed. Re-reading last words is also a way to avoid moments of silence. Don't turn the discussion towards you. It's more important to be interested than interesting.

6. Remove distractions

It's rude to use your phone when someone is talking to you or looking over their shoulder. If you know you're having trouble keeping your attention for long periods of time, it's best not to have magazines, or other things you can read, a phone or TV around the table. It will help you keep your focus on the speaker and that's it.

7. Be brief but specific

When you have something important to communicate, provide context, reason, information, purpose and consequences. In less than a paragraph. Don't communicate vaguely about important things and don't write whole novels in emails on simple topics. People don't appreciate people who waste their time and tend to react on the spur of the moment, and if you've annoyed them, the odds will not be in your favour. Communicate briefly and to the point.

8. Work on empathy

Communication is a two-way street. If you try more and more often to put yourself in the other person's shoes, you will reduce stress and fear of not communicating effectively and in the other person's understanding. Empathy is a very valuable tool that can also relax your conversation partner, who will feel that you understand their state of mind or perspective from the way you pose the problem, which will make them more open to you.