The story of my life

I have always hated my life without finding no meaning in what so ever. Your told from a very young age that you can do what ever you put your mind to. I'll be 26 this year and have always followed that philosophy and have literally nothing to show for it so then I try and try to possibly make my pathetic life better. I believe everything happens for a reason ,but what's the meaning for my life anyways. There are so many people younger than me who aren't working there asses off and not getting crappy checks from the government because they did what there parents told them to do as my mother puts it over and overt again. Now as a mother myself I don't regret being a mom and having my daughter I love her I just wish I didn't fall for some prick who up and left me after me having her and then giving me 5 dollars a month well that's great isn't. Yeah I didn't go to college or go into a good career and I keep telling myself that it will get better even though deep in my heart it never will. And so after my daughter I realized I wasted half my 20s on literal bs and more. That whole picture in my head of what I could have been is freaking me till the point of insomnia and over competition with people on the internet I don't know. I get it why are you trying to make yourself feel even worse than you do now. Honestly I really don't know all I know that my life is meaningless cuz we human beings live on this ginormous planet call planet earth which is only a speck to our even bigger universe so honestly nothing we ever do with matter because we came from dust and in 100 years that's what we go back to and this planet will be here way longer than we have so basically long story short if your reading this and you have millions of dollars well guess what that money which came from paper and from that trees are a crap ton older and will watch the world go by when your laying dead in the ground so that tree will have way more of a successful life that you could ever merely dream off. It may not have a villa and tons of luxury cars but its here and will see the world and have a spot of its own to grow for hundreds of years to come so its doing better than you and the damn thing is stuck in the ground like what's up with that. After my 26 years of life I noticed that life is too short to be wasted on stupidity. Even though I wasted half of my 20s I realized that maybe its not to late and I'm just exaggerating I really hope I am ,but I am the type of person to just drown herself in caffeine when I get over zealous on a project or two because apparently the folks around me doesn't believe I get tired or feel mental pain especially when they all think I'm superwomen or something where I'm that character from Encantos who is able to lift everything and anything over her head without bleeding or crying due to the overwhelming pain.If I could change anyhting in my life it would be to move out of my parents house and take my daughter to canada or somewhere else I'll probally be a lot happier without all the negativity I'm constantly around 24/7 so happy birthday to me.

Peace